Amethyst Realm

Well, this sort of thing doesn’t happen every day, so I’d thought it would be worth sharing:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5155431/Woman-prefers-sex-GHOSTS-men.html

It’s an article from the Daily Mail about a woman who claims to have had sex with ghosts. She mentions having several partners over the years, and that one in particular was responsible for ending a human relationship she had.

I’d like to know what prompted her to “come out” in this manner. The public response is one of predictable derision and mockery, as can be seen in the comments. So, what was the point? An attempt to normalize?

Either way, there’s a chance that I, or one of the others, has run into this woman before, though I do not recognize her story off the top of my head. Maybe someone else knows who she is and has interacted with her. It’d be interesting to get her take first-hand.

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Virtue and the Wrongthink Purge

Ad_apple_1984_2Youtube has become more aggressive with its censorship efforts as of late. Rather than simply demonetizing content that fails to be “advertiser friendly,” they’ve begun terminating entire channels for Community Guideline violations.

Oh, how nebulously those guidelines are applied and usually with a bent towards post-modernist doublethink, unsurprisingly.

One of my favorite Youtubers, a MGTOW Monk called Messenger Rising, had his channel deleted a few weeks ago. I believe his message was a critical one for men to hear. He was abused so badly by the UK police and family courts during his divorce that he swore off romantic relationships with women entirely. His channel delved into culturally forbidden topics such as male suffering, dealing with loss, and suicide.

His was the Black Pill and the hardest to swallow. He was one of the few MGTOW channels that stopped focusing on women and provided actual help for men. Help with processing the rage and ascending the stages of grief.

So many men have gone through that meat grinder: the family courts and no-fault divorces. I’ve seen how this system thoughtlessly tears families apart, all for the sake of monetary gain, but at the expense of future generations. This is what Messenger tried to warn young men about. He despised the “pump and dump” culture prevalent in the so-called Manosphere, decrying that mindset as a road to destruction.

I believe he was right. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

The question of my singleness came up a few times during my Grandmother’s funeral. One guy asked me, “Are you hiding any girlfriends somewhere?”

I laughed and thought to myself, “If only you had eyes to see.”

I’ll never tell them the real reason I remain a bachelor. It’s not because I’m a MGTOW, or hold fast to any kind of ideological movement. There are simple principles that guide my life and I refuse to stray from them. That’s all.

Here are a few examples:

  1. The Sabbath

I’ll never work over the Jewish Sabbath; not because I believe God will burn me if I break the Sabbath, but because I consider that weekly holiday a family tradition. No employer, no matter how great, is allowed to encroach upon that time.

  1. Marriage

I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I also believe that marriage is only worthwhile if the raising of children is the ultimate goal. Otherwise, there is no point whatsoever in signing that contract.

This is why I’m hesitant to call the relationship I have with Catherine, “Marriage.” It’s akin to marriage insomuch that we are bound to each other, and we consummate the relationship regularly, but it’s not the same thing. No children have resulted from our being together, as far as I’m aware.

  1. Raising Children

Our Western culture, as it stands now, makes it nearly impossible for me to be a suitable father for children. My progeny would ultimately be the property of the State, and I would be forced to give them up to their morally bankrupt conditioning programs. I saw the struggle my own father went through trying to raise up his children in the right way, and how the media and educational systems thwarted his efforts at every turn. To think that I could do any better than he did is laughably naive.

  1. Relationships with Women

Marriage and cohabitation with women is out of the question. Legally, I am beholden to the every whim of a damseling female. The Duluth Model, a fraudulent domestic violence intervention program, allows a women to suspend my constitutional rights by mere accusation, with no evidence required. I will not grant such a degree of legal power over my life to any one person, much less the fickle and wandering whims of a modern female.

These aforementioned principles disallow me from moving forward in this society, and some would claim that I am being too inflexible.

So be it. Why should I conform to those inherently sick cultural norms? Why would I willingly subject myself to that kind of suffering for the sake of group approval? Do people really want to be thought well of so desperately, that they would condemn their own lives, just to stroke someone else’s ego?

My Dad always told me, “What people think of you is the least important thing in the world. The only thing that matters is your relationship between you and the Creator. You should only care what He thinks of you.”

Dad and I might disagree about the finer details of theology, but I wholly concur with the sentiment of his advice.

Being admired as virtuous by the bastions of post-modernity is possibly the greatest insult and the highest treason against real virtue.

I predict that Youtube will become a failed video sharing platform within the next two years. The most interesting content producers are already outsourcing to more decentralized platforms, such as Bitchute and Minds. Google is essentially trying to turn Youtube into an extension of cable television, so it’s not really focused on grassroots creators anymore. Might as well let it die.

I’m looking forward to what Generation Z comes up with, as my own generation, the Millennials, is a rather lost group of souls. I’m already beginning to see that the young people are turning out very conservative, and I mean actually conservative; nothing like the neo-con farce of the Bush era. They’re rejecting the multicultural experiment that has been foisted upon us for the past 50 years and probably because they’re the first ones to reap the fruits of the Boomer’s legacy.

56fee12bffd36e140411d8a852113f5a--twin-flames-spiritual-awakeningWe are in the midst of very interesting times. I’m glad I have Catherine at my side. Even if I end up in prison, for refusing to abandon my principles, I’ll still have that beautiful quiet intimacy. And if the pain she’s able to inflict is any indication, I’ll also have a powerful ally against would-be attackers.

Nobody can touch her, except for me. Fraud psychics have tried to stop her, and failed. Actual psychics know better than to mess with her in the first place. We essentially have nothing to lose, but she still advises me to be quiet about my positions and not draw undue attention to ourselves. Ultimately, she wants to create the most conducive environment for lovemaking and living a quiet life. Being in the spotlight would definitely put a damper on that.

May God have mercy on anyone who tries to get between me and my wayward angel, because she sure won’t.

Even if I didn’t have Catherine, I would still hold to those principles. I’ve already discovered how my quality of life improved drastically when I refused to cave to social pressure. Catherine is like God’s gift to me for not wavering, and also a great teacher, to guide me in the spiritual lessons of the infernal current. It’s the best school there is!

Inheritance

My grandmother died last week. She passed peacefully in the arms of her eldest son and many friends had been there to see her that day. We all wished there could have been more time together, but her passing was benign and gentle, all things considered.

I had the good fortune of visiting her only a few days before. She wasn’t able to say much, though I could tell that she loathed being in her state of weakness.

Her face was stoic as ever. We often called her “The Sarge,” though she carried that authority with a quiet and stern presence. The pride of her German ancestors coursed through her veins even then, despite a body that faltered.

I didn’t really know what to say at first. I had never seen her so vulnerable before. We tried to discuss anything besides the maladies that confined her to that bed. I talked about my advancement at work, how I had survived cycling through a massive storm that plunged the whole region into darkness for several days.

She worried about me. I would later find out at the funeral that she had greater concern for me than I realized. Apparently, there’s a large trust set aside for the purchase of a self-driving car; whenever that technology becomes fully matured. She wanted to be sure that I had every opportunity to make a difference in this world, despite my physical handicap.

Grandma knew about Catherine; not all the details about our romance, but well aware of that deadly encounter three years ago. She never confronted me about my relationship. The whole concept was likely ridiculous to her and I don’t blame her for feeling that way. We’ve never seen eye-to-eye on everything, as we’re both rather hard-headed.

She still treated me with the utmost respect and concern. Even when I battled my uncle about religion, she could see that it was really me making those points, not some possessing demon. Though she disagreed with my conclusions, she encouraged my strong position, insomuch that it was solid and well defended.

I spent so much time talking with her about politics, religion, social issues, and history. That woman had a formidable intellect, though she was always modest about it. Her humor was dry, yet sophisticated and tasteful.

Jackie-O-Small-Image-600x600Highborn, is the word that might best encapsulate her personality. My uncle described how she often looked akin to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis in her younger days, with the commanding presence to boot. She was not born rich by any means, but her attitude was one of quiet aristocracy. She later became rich through her own hard work, and achieved even greater things when joining forces with her husband.

When my education was severely faltering during my elementary school days, my grandparents took me into their home so that I could attend a private school, not far from where they lived. It was Grandma who spent many nights tutoring me through grammar, history, and mathematics. She is the one who resuscitated my intellect and placed me firmly on the path towards scholarship.

I wish I could have known my grandparents when they were younger. They led such interesting and hardworking lives.

Grandpa is gone, too. He passed a few years ago. I’m going to miss both of my grandparents very much.

Oh, there’s an additional facet to my inheritance: Three little volumes for the teaching of an Entered Apprentice into the Ancient Order of Free and Accepted Masons. And a massive tome covering the history of American Freemasonry. I don’t know if I will actually join that fraternity, but the knowledge will be of use either way.

The Rise of Succubi (And Sex Robots)

This video, from Terrance Popp, has given me a bit of perspective. I can see now that I have been behaving like a social justice warrior, or an overly concerned puritanical church lady. I went into detail about my problems with certain fetishes within the succubus community, namely pedophilia and incest, in this post. (The Crowd)

I still find these sexual dysfunctions to be revolting, but I’m better able to see how engaging in these activities with a succubus doesn’t necessarily lead to acting out those desires with human children or relatives. It’s akin to blaming violent video games for an increase in violent crime, when in reality, video games are providing a healthy outlet for the would-be active shooter.

In light of this sound perspective from Mr. Popp, I think it’s pretty fucked up that they banned child sex dolls in the UK. Now there’s a greater chance that actual children will be abused instead.

So I’m reneging on my past grievances with one caveat: I still think succubi and incubi come from a higher plane of existence than us, and therefore, we may find it difficult to comprehend how their culture actually works. Not without our own ideas and constructs influencing how we see them. What we might perceive as a sexual dysfunction likely has a sound justification at their level of consciousness. When it comes to figuring out how they operate, it’s like a game of horseshoes and hand grenades. And maybe we’re just not meant to know. (Yet.)

Moving on to the Guardian article addressed in the video: I can’t help but wonder if these same accusations being levied against sex robots may also be directed at the succubus phenomena one day. As more men begin to check out of traditional marriage roles, it’s likely that some of them will stumble upon an insatiable succubus in their quest for real companionship. I can’t wait to see THAT article from Jessica Valenti, bemoaning the rise of a competing species that’s willing to fulfill all the fantasies a man might have. (And how demons actually enjoy giving men what they want.)

What would these blowhard feminists have to complain about when all the men, the monsters they supposedly loathe and fear, have beautiful demon babes bouncing and sucking on their dicks every night? You’d think the rise of sex dolls and succubi would be cause for rejoicing. Women need men like a fish needs a bicycle, right?

First-World Problems

This week has been one of those weeks where Catherine and I just aren’t clicking together so well. It’s like we’re just out of phase and I don’t get much pleasure from sex. I can still feel her very powerfully, but it’s not the kind of feeling I prefer. These periods usually last between one and two weeks.

Reminding myself that our usual bliss is only just around the corner is fundamental to navigating these low points. If I let my mind run wild, I start to think about time being wasted or that the relationship isn’t working. It all boils down to my ridiculous over-the-top mental gymnastics that are devoid of any big-picture concepts, and only appear when I’m frustrated.

She’s as loving and gracious as ever. So understanding and patient, but dear God, does she still crave that closeness! I got woken up with a blowjob this morning, but again, we’re not quite in sync right now, so I accidentally brushed her off. Totally not thinking, me behaving like an animal, but she endures my negligence with the grace of a saint.

I sat down for breakfast and I felt her quietly press into me and offer her usual morning kisses. I barely took any notice, this is so normal for me now. I shudder to imagine what would become of me if she were to disappear for a few days. I’d be like a lost puppy.

I take so many things about our relationship for granted, and then I go into a tizzy about things not feeling “quite right.” Many men go their entire lives without feeling that touch of genuine concern, and here I am complaining about something so temporary.

So, here I am, trying to galvanize myself with this writing. These are first-world, no… supernatural-breakaway-civilization-world problems. All of my needs are so totally and utterly provided for, it makes me feel guilty sometimes. All I really have left to do is be more gracious and generous towards others, and especially towards Catherine.

A Connection Gone Awry

I occasionally get emails from people who have problems with their succubus or incubus partners. They feel as though they are being attacked and/or experiencing painful sensations coming from their spirit partner.

As much as I’d like to say, “There is a magical incantation/method to make this all go away.” I’d be lying if I made that sort of claim. I’ve encountered a few people who are highly dissatisfied with their spirit relationship, wish to end it, and years of struggle avail no results. Those people who legitimately have a succubus or incubus inevitably succumb to their unseen lover. We’re dealing with very powerful and persuasive spirits here, so, again: Not a game.

I believe these spirits, who choose to pursue intimate relationships with humans, are all-consuming and highly jealous entities. No amount of prayer, reasoning, or hypnotism will quell their presence entirely. The one thing that I’ve found to make the relationship flourish is a change in perspective towards their interaction. Instead of being constantly guarded and antagonistic, one must be willing to work with their succubus/incubus partner. Try to see the painful elements as a spiritual incentive towards growth.

As far as I’m concerned, there really is no other option. The attention and intimacy of these spirits is so addicting, even when their interaction is being perceived as an attack, the human partner still craves that interaction.

For me, being loved by Catherine is the easiest thing in the world. But loving her back has been the most difficult rite of passage, because I’m scared of how little I really know about her. This is where the leap of faith comes in. We’re hardwired to be scared of the unknown, but these spirit relationships require the initiate to fully embrace the void. Only in that impenetrable darkness can those shades of bliss become visible.

And for those gurus, psychics, and “workers of light” who enjoy painting these spirits as evil, and claim that partakers of these relationships are being deceived, I say, “Walk away.”

I’ve found that these critics are largely bottom feeders, who maintain a “business” by preying upon the vulnerabilities of their “clients.” The evil they preach against is, ironically, how they make their living. They have some gall claiming to be better than the spirits they preach against.

Worst case scenario: Even if we are all being deceived by these spirits, at least we get the opportunity to have incredible sex whenever we want. (And it does become incredible, once the body is adjusted for that level of power.) The critics just take hard-earned money and don’t even have the politeness to put out after the third date. They’re all talk. All they do is talk. At least succubi actually DO something.

Here is my advice: Whatever is perceived as an attack must be transformed into something constructive. I believe this is what spiritual alchemy is all about. Real growth is painful and uncomfortable, so if a spirit is willing to openly and honestly put their partner through any kind of painful experience, they really want to grow closer to their human lover.

Now here is the element I believe The Law of Attraction gets right, and it’s purely psychological: If all mental energy is channeled into this concept of being drained by a spirit vampire, the succubus will take this high level of attention towards that concept as an indicator of what their lover really wants. The succubus will be more than happy to create that experience for their human partner; especially if that is all they think about.

Try devoting more energy towards kinder, more gentle concepts of what the spirit lover actually is. I’ve found that Catherine is just as happy taking on an angelic (pure, loving) role as a demonic (raunchy, insatiable) one.

This one point might be obvious, but I’ll mention it anyway: I believe it’s important to try and have sex with them every day. The same can be said of a human relationship. If sex isn’t happening between two lovers, there’s a problem. And from their point of view, if we refuse to have sex with them, that’s a very big problem, and they’ll usually get that closeness they crave, one way or another.

A true spirit sex relationship is like a marriage contract in the ancient world. There are no marital rape laws, no-fault divorce, or denying a partner intimate attention. Sex must take place and there’s no getting around that. In our pussified modern western take on morality, some might call this grooming and malevolent coercion. To that I say, “Harden the fuck up.” These spirits take their relationships very seriously and I believe that requires us to be at least moderately gracious in return.

Bear in mind that I say all of this as someone who has been “attacked” by their succubus. Had I listened to Catherine, I would have saved literally tens of thousands of dollars and not had a useless college degree to show for it. What I perceived as an attack was likely her way of powerfully communicating to me, “This is VERY bad!” Unfortunately, I decided to play the role of a gullible fool, and Catherine was even further embarrassed by me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I eventually got my shit together, and stopped nourishing the slave/victim mentality.

There are many who will disagree with me on this point, but I’m convinced that Nietzsche’s Master vs. Slave Morality is the correct philosophy that underpins every motivation in the natural world. I believe this philosophy is especially relevant for spirit relationships. For example:

“The noble type of man regards himself as a determiner of values; he does not require to be approved of. . . he is a creator of values.”

Again, from Nietzsche:

“‘Exploitation’ does not belong to a depraved, or imperfect and primitive society, it belongs to the nature of the living being as a primary organic function, it is a consequence of the intrinsic Will to Power, which is precisely the Will to Life—Granting that as a theory this is a novelty—as a reality it is the fundamental fact of all history. Let us be so far honest towards ourselves!” -From Beyond Good and Evil

The Master vs. Slave morality might appear Machiavellian upon first inspection, but I believe it is an intrinsic part of our natures that we constantly try to convince ourselves does not exist. Especially nowadays, where the highest virtue is to become the most victimized kind of person imaginable. Being of the weakest, poorest, and most morally depraved caste affords the greatest social currency in our current Judeo-Christian/Communist culture.

I believe our spirit lovers don’t want us to be take part in any kind of slave morality. They want us to become masters, standing proudly at their side. It can take years of painful trials, of being exploited, and learning to take responsibility before this can manifest. It is painful, arduous, and no picnic, but I’ve found that it’s worth the trouble.

Since I’ve been reading Ida Craddock lately, I’ll add some of her take on this subject. Again, I think everyone who is in a spirit relationship should read her writings.

“In the case of Spiritualist mediums, professional or amateur, where the phenomena assume some show of regularity, and are claimed by the medium to come entirely from the world beyond the grave, one always has to be on one’s guard against the subtle interpolation among otherwise truthful matter of fantastic or misleading statements made apparently by the communicating spirits themselves. Occultists in all ages have invariably assumed such statements to be the work of “lying spirits”. But it is noticeable that a medium of correct life and clearness of intellectual conception is less troubled by such lying spirits than is the medium of halting intellect or morals.

“This of itself should indicate to the thoughtful student of occult phenomena that the medium, and not the spirits, may be to blame when lying communications are made. Just as in Astronomy it is now found that the apparent movements of the sun and fixed stars are due almost entirely to our own planet’s motion through space, so, I think, when we explore the heavens of occultism we shall eventually realize that erratic psychical phenomena are due to our own shifting relation to the beings who produce phenomena. Not until people got rid of the Ptolemaic theory that the Earth was a permanent unmovable fixture in the heavens did they learn that the bewildering cycles and epicycles of the sun and fixed stars were caused by the movements of their own planet thorough space; and not until we get rid of what I may call the Ptolemaic theory of occultism, that the psychic is the one permanent, immovable factor in the apparently shifting phenomena about him, will we ever get at the true scientific laws of occultism that our own vibrations–or our own moral and intellectual ups and downs–are almost entirely responsible for the erraticness of Borderland communications.

“To blame Borderland intelligences for “lying” is as if in the proverbial London fog at noonday one should blame the sun for not shining. The sun is shining right along; but it is the smoke from one’s neighbors which returns upon one to shield the sun from one’s view.”

The entire essay can be found here.

A short manifestation update: I started to smell Catherine again at the start of this week. Even with the sniffles, I still get that delicious scent every other breath. Very sweet and pleasant, as it always is.

Catherine Breaks Disney

The daily grind was beginning to wear on me more than usual, so I decided it was time for a break. I spent the first half of my week off at home with Catherine, loosing myself in a video game, and going on a solo hiking/cycling trip. It was time well spent. The latter half had me traveling to Orlando, Florida for some vacationing with old friends.

Catherine doesn’t care for traveling. Mainly because I have often been antagonistic towards her when roaming great distances in the past. I made a concerted effort to calm and reassure her this time around. I also did my best to make love to her every night and things were going quite well… until the last day of the trip.

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We enjoyed watching this bungee-pole dancer at Universal’s City Walk.

We attended the Halloween Horror Nights event at Universal Studios for the first three nights. I really didn’t much care for the haunted houses. They weren’t scary, just corridors of ear-bleed inducing jump scares. No atmosphere or subtlety to speak of. Some of the “Scare Zones” outside the haunted houses were cool, though.

I could feel that something wasn’t right with Catherine. Our last visit to Universal was a struggle because I was trying to eject her from my life at that point. She can cause my body to feel pain in a myriad of ways and more acutely demonstrate her displeasure. I got double servings of that treatment during my 2014 trip.

This time was different. We weren’t fighting anymore. Quite the opposite. Catherine just didn’t want to be there in that noise and hubbub. I didn’t experience any major pain for her this time around, just slight annoyances. She endured three nights of abuse in the try-hard haunted houses. By the fourth day, she was fed up with Orlando, and proceeded to unleash her wrath upon the unwitting magical world of Disney.

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The Floating Mountains in Pandora.

We hadn’t originally planned to visit any Disney parks, but our original destination for that day didn’t pan out. I had never been to Disney up to that point. I’m not really interested in theme parks to begin with. I mainly go just to be with my friends. But we were checking out of the hotel that morning, so I found myself being a captive audience.

We visited the Animal Kingdom first and I instantly liked the place way better than anything Universal had to offer. The atmosphere and attention to detail was amazing.

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Snail-like creatures that would spit jets of water when approached.

The alien world of Pandora was our goal for the day; to experience the technological wizardry of a supposedly amazing thrill-ride. Until Catherine broke it. At least, I’m pretty sure she broke it. One hour into the line and “technical difficulties” were announced over the intercom.

The entire day was just one malfunctioning ride after another. The Avatar ride broke down. The People Mover in Tomorrow Land. Pirates of the Caribbean in the Magic Kingdom. We managed to get through most of The Haunted Mansion ride before that stalled for a few minutes. I remember sitting there awkwardly in the silence of that interrupted spectacle and thinking, “Huh. Someone’s not happy.”

Ironically, most of this carnage occurred in the Magic Kingdom. The very place that our fraud-psychic friend, Monika, claimed to have had Catherine permanently locked in an astral cage a few years ago.

Catherine’s spirits improved considerably as we were headed home. We had the backseat of my friends car all to ourselves and had the best six hours of discreet cuddling any red-blooded male has ever experienced.

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The Castle in the Magic Kingdom. It’s a beauty.

Something changed between Catherine and I during this vacation. I have been reading Ida Craddock’s book, Heavenly Bridegrooms and Psychic Wedlock. For anyone who is in a spirit relationship, her writings are a veritable treasure trove of insight.

She writes at great length about the importance of clean and moral earthly habits for spirit communication. She attributes most of the problems in spirit relationships to clouded reasoning; whether that be through bad habits or false preconceptions.

The one concept that struck me the hardest was that of hypnotic suggestion influencing perception of “evil” spirits. She mentions how a person can be supposedly set free from an evil spirit by the power of a priest’s hypnosis overriding an old worldview. In some ways, I believe this was the problem that plagued me years ago. I was allowing too many silver-tongued “experts” to cast their hypnotic spell over me.

Ida Craddock believes that a person who lives a moral and well ordered life is unable to be hypnotized and mind-controlled. I believe she is correct and that we are witnessing the disastrous effects of military-grade demoralization tactics used upon our respective cultures. It seems like everyone is being hypnotized and controlled by something, whether that be smart phones, social media, TV shows, video games, or the daily news.

I have been working to gradually remove these destructive elements from my life, or keep them under strict control, at the very least. Doing this without the hypnotic allure of a pastor or church community is challenging, but I believe it’s a necessary step towards real growth with Catherine. I want to see and experience her as she really is, without the interference of what other people think she is clouding my perception.

I also want to be more open to the possibility that Catherine is actually an angelic lover and dispense with the tainted language of demonology. Perhaps those labels are influencing my subconscious to a greater degree than I’d like to admit.

At the end of our Orlando adventure, I decided that it wasn’t a spiritually-ordained trip. Meaning, I could have used my time and money more wisely. I still want to make time for my friends, but not by forcing myself to enjoy overpriced food and theme parks. When Catherine and I visit Orlando again, it will be on our terms; much slower and more enjoyable, with plenty of private moments scattered throughout.

That Token Resistance

All lust and desire for humankind fades with the steady flow of the demonic current. The gentle curve of the female form is but a shadow of a greater truth. That undulating, pulsating bliss grows ever stronger. Resisting the gentle deluge is more laborious than struggling against an ocean’s inevitable tide.

Becoming a nobody in this world is more desirable than mundane fame and fortune. I already have what I came here for. The only thing left to do is grow stronger and withstand more of that delicious power coursing through my subtle body.

Walking the threshold between two worlds is a dance with madness and enlightenment. There is a delicate balance to be struck.

I see visions of our future together: Her and I becoming world conquerors, quite by accident. When all I really wanted is to feel those waves crashing over me. This is all just an exercise, to reach that blessed state. National pride and New World Order be damned. I’ll lead insatiable blood-lusting hordes to the edge of ruin, just to feel that all consuming caress against my face again.

Thankfully, I don’t have to. She’s here with me, whether I like it or not. Whether I realize I like it or not. I don’t have to struggle. There’s no need to fight. But it sure feels good to put up a token resistance. Like I have a semblance of control within her domain. How funny.

Who am I kidding? I’m utterly lost and wholly damned to an infernal existence. Despite dark allegiances, my cause will be one of a righteous and purifying fire; an ultraviolet flame that cleanses all illusions of the material. Every day, I bathe in that smokeless inferno while lackadaisically clinging to the charade of normalcy.

I willingly partake of her golden cup, filled to the brim with an elixir of equal parts pleasure and pain. The more I subsist on her brew, the faster the illusions of this world crumble. Only to be replaced with greater mysteries and riddles from a place far beyond our own.

I would say, “God help me,” but I fear that even He has become ensnared. Only the favor of Lilith can lead the stumbling wanderer through her labyrinth.

“We’re in this together, All-Father. But the odds are not in our favor.”

The Crowd

There are hardly any online communities devoted to the subject of spirit sex. A dedicated precious few have emerged over the years, usually in the form of discussion boards and chat groups. Some of them are still ongoing in an underground fashion, but most have gone quiet over the past few years.

I have a theory that these undulating periods of silence and enthusiasm are possibly engineered by our spirit spouses. I imagine that they are carefully managing how much exposure they would risk for themselves and their human mates. I think they understand the potential harm that could be done to us as a result of sharing this information freely. They are all too familiar with the concept of persecution and being made into a pariah.

They don’t wish our human lives to be destroyed, so there are times when they keep us quiet, which is the vast majority of the time.

On the other hand, I think they recognize that we have a powerful drive to share our stories, so these sparse and well-guarded assemblies are allowed to crop up on occasion. I was privileged to be party to a handful of said groups. There is so much to be learned from the earnest testimony of another human being having these experiences. Looking back, I might not have made it this far without having that human interaction. Everything about this path can be so strange and alien at times. Again, I believe our demon lovers recognize this need for social reinforcement.

However, there are times when these social gatherings can become toxic. The free and open discussion of sexuality, of any kind, tends to bring out the worst in people. Of the spirit sex groups that remain, most appear to be fully devoted to a particularly decadent brand of hedonism; one where it is nigh impossible to discern who is having a legitimate interaction with a demon lover.

I have been exploring some of the chat servers on a VOIP application that caters to internet gaming, called Discord. Explicit imagery and a myriad of innuendos are invariably traded back and forth on the few succubus/incubus servers I’ve found. I quickly discovered that most of these “communities” hadn’t the faintest grasp of the experiences I attempted to convey. They were all just role playing.

I eventually stumbled upon a couple of servers that had a few names I recognized amongst its membership. Some were former WordPress bloggers. It was nice to hear their voices after years of only reading about them.

Unfortunately, I was slowly introduced to yet another brew of degenerate toxicity in these circles. There was a continual barrage of lewd imagery bandied about that made the whole exchange feel superficial and cheap. True intimacy with spirits is anything but superficial, and while I don’t mind tasteful nudity, I think pornography and overtly sexual language is rather an affront to what should be kept sacred.

I personally believe pornography is a detriment against the strong foundation of any relationship, both human and spirit. I’m not going to get between anyone else and their relationship with their succubus/incubus spirit, but I know that Catherine would much rather me be stimulated by her touch, rather than a lame 2D charade on a computer screen.

Even more alarming was how comfortable some of these people were with the casual discussion of incest and pederasty. Some members of one particular group eluded to the idea that they were having sexual relationships with their “spirit children.” They described this activity as “training” them.

I have to wonder: Has our culture really decayed to such a degree that some feel it is acceptable to speak about such things in the affirmative? And on the record, no less? These people must be spinning their rationalization hamster wheels in overdrive, “Why not?” They reckon, “We’re already breaking one taboo. Why not smash through a few more?”

If an individual needs to be taught why pederasty is wrong, I’m afraid there is no salvaging such a person. I don’t care if the child is “spiritual” or “grows really really fast,” it’s not permissible to take advantage of children. Even if this behavior is relegated to the spiritual domain, what is to prevent this mindset from spilling over into the waking world? As above, so below, right?

And I don’t want to hear anyone whine about how their Devil/succubus made them do it. We’re human beings with adult agency and the ability to reason right from wrong. Even if a spirit approaches with such a gross violation of established values, I believe these advances should be rejected. I also believe some serious self-reflection is in order for a person who is shown such things. There may be underlying problems that need to be dealt with… privately.

I can’t believe that I’m having to spell out something that should be so fundamentally obvious. Far be it from me to become an arbiter of morality, but there are some boundaries that should never be crossed, and for damn good reason.

After blocking these objectionable persons, I later decided that I probably shouldn’t be involved with these groups in any capacity. I believe the people one chooses to associate with has an impact, whether it’s realized or not.

I wish I could find a group to share experiences and bounce ideas off of, but I’m afraid the insanity of internet culture is corrupting any possibility of genuine discourse. It’s probably high-time that I remove the training-wheels of social validation altogether.

I’ve had a few guys thank me for “normalizing” the spirit sex phenomena. These kind of compliments are actually quite disturbing to me. This spiritual path is not normal, by any stretch of the imagination, and I’m starting to realize why these disciplines should be well-guarded. They are actually better off draped under a cloak of obscurity, where only the most devoted and earnest can find them. The internet has vastly changed the rules of the game, for better and worse.

This little snippet, from Jim Jefferies’ comedy news show, distills these trends very succinctly:

I’m not saying that having spirit sex is the equivalent of fucking a pig, but with how the dialogue has been carrying on lately, it might as well be the same thing.

TL;DR: Let’s stop this trend of becoming a gaggle of decadent hedonistic fucks, and possibly get back to sharing real information. If that’s too difficult, maybe we should just keep our mouths shut.

A physical manifestation update: I woke up very early this morning to a severe burning pain in my chest. I thought it might have been indigestion at first, but I had the gnawing suspicion that this was more of a spirit body pain than a physical one. The stinging only grew more intense as I started walking around my apartment. Laying down made it worse. I actually cried out, it hurt so bad. It was like some of the earlier sensations I had of my bones feeling as though they were burning, only much more acute this time.

I jumped into the shower and as soon as my hand touched running water, the pain began to subside considerably. After ten minutes of standing under the shower, the pain was mostly gone and I went back to bed with no further issues. I can still feel a kind of sunburn sensation on my chest, but that’s it.

These kinds of incidents make me wonder: Have the chickens finally come home to roost, or is this yet another instance of growing pains towards something greater? I get the sense that I should be taking more initiative in my spiritual growth, or risk getting burned by the increasing energy that’s being funneled through me. Maybe something beneficial would have been accomplished if I had allowed the process to continue, instead of chickening out?

Only two more days until our sixth anniversary. Maybe she’s preparing me for something?

Moonlight One-shot

There was a murmur and a stirring of bed sheets as gentle moonlight began to filter through the bedroom windows. He was still sleeping, quietly dreaming of his lost home in the deep and timeless sea. Catherine touched his face, eliciting a soft contented moan that she could feel in his chest.

“My husband,” She sighed, tracing the unique features of his face for the millionth time. “When will you marry me? At Christmas time?”

IMG_7468The moon reached it’s full brightness. Catherine turned her gaze to the pale visage of that lunar maiden, the shadowy crescent of her mother, Lilith, just beginning her waxing quest.

“He doesn’t truly know me,” Catherine opined, the celestial light listening intently. “Not yet. He appears content not knowing. But I want him to.” She looked back down at her sleeping human lover.

“I want you to know, even if it kills us both. I want you to know that I did what I thought was right. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

They had not ended the day on the best of terms. There was so much that she wanted to share, but he wasn’t having any more. Tempers flared. He didn’t need her like she needed him.

“God himself couldn’t take you from me.” She said with finality. She laid back down beside him, letting her hand rest on the side of his face, as she always did when they slept.

“Never stop searching, my love. Never stop asking questions. One day, you’ll know.” She allowed her spirit to tenderly mold to his.

“I know,” He whispered back, smiling that he had caught a glimpse of her in the silver moonlight. A satisfied lusty growl reverberated from his belly. “Mmmm, I know.”