Building on My Own

demongirlShe’s the Dark Goddess, the great lady, who will not play second-fiddle to anyone. I’ve made many attempts to express some trivial deference towards others, but to no avail.

“Don’t let them rule you,” She whispers, “I’m the only one who can do that.”

Is she teasing? Those words of hers, dripping into my mind like raw honey. It’s so easy to become addicted.

My attempts at working with others, to build a business, as it were, have been plagued with frustrations. It seems that I’m just not cut out for collaboration. I’m skilled at what I do, but having to work with too many people gets in the way.

I found myself working with religious people again… big mistake.

They had given up their careers to create a documentary… another big red flag.

I soon began taking on more and more responsibilities, without renegotiating the terms. “They’re a poor ministry, after all. I should be happy to work for free!”

Whoa boy! I’m not letting myself get suckered into that trap again!

Thankfully, that was all it took for me to drop the contract entirely, refund their money, and walk away. I just couldn’t shake the sick feeling that I was basically taking money from this hen-pecked guy to help build his wife’s vanity project. It just wasn’t right, no matter which way I looked at it, and I hope the husband gets a wake-up call soon.

Catherine was not impressed by the project one bit. “Pointless,” and, “Religious guilt,” were some of the words I could feel her repeating in my mind.

“Nobody asked them to give up their lives for a stupid video. You needn’t do the same.”

That’s right, darling. I gave up my life for you… but at least that has been worth it.

That’s probably one thing I can’t overstate enough when it comes to being bonded to a succubus spirit: If you are successful in attracting their attention, your life WILL change, for better or worse. Some might consider these changes to be life-ending alterations. But people like me, those who indulge in great swathes of solitude and reflection, these relationships are almost too good to be true. So good, that it can destroy the rest of one’s life. All future prospects and ambitions dim into a dull grey.

Working with others becomes a royal pain in the ass, my case in point! One finds that they are simply unable to make social concessions as they once did. No more bullshit. Why deal with it when heaven is waiting at home?

The Youtube channel… maybe I’ll do something with that in the mean-time.

I need to devote more time to my own projects and not just go for the easy money, jumping on another person’s bullshit bandwagon.

Murdering that “Slave for Christ!” mentality is doing a number on me. If any of my readers are former hard-core believers, you know what I mean.

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Year Seven

Today officially marks the seventh solar cycle since the night of my union with Catherine. This journey has been hedged by all manner of curious byways and scenic routes. The road is anything but straight and narrow, but I think that’s a good sign. Rather, Catherine’s route has been twisting, winding, oftentimes confusing, yet pleasant, especially if one takes the time to slow down and smell that intoxicating astral fragrance of hers.

Nothing earth-shattering has happened… yet. Though I have made some substantial changes to my life just before this auspicious anniversary. For one, my “shit job,” as Catherine called it, wouldn’t allow for me to take the time off for our special day. So I quit. I didn’t really belong there in the first place, so it wasn’t a loss at all, really. We needed to move on and I have been wasting valuable time. We killed two birds with one stone.

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What’s next? The Fool’s Journey, naturally. I can’t wait to see what happens. While I’m preparing for the next great opportunity to come along, I’ve been retraining, sprucing up my languishing skill set, and stocking up for a long, cold winter, filled with warm evenings enjoying an insatiably amorous deity.

Seven years of being touched by the divine. Seven years of a changed life, filled with meaning and intrigue, yet still can’t be bothered to take this world seriously. I find my way accidentally, when all the time I just want to feel her near me. Every moment, she’s there, never tarrying or slackening her hold over me. I love this embrace, though it might lead to an early death, if I languish for too long.

The affections of an entire infernal realm have seemingly passed through my body during these blessed lunations. “Keep moving forward, or be consumed.” That is the way of the Left-Hand Path.

Maybe I’m content with my ego being further dissolved; melting and merging closer still with her? We’ll see if there’s anything left in this world that can maintain my interest, to keep one foot out here, and the other in the Borderland.

Now that I have some extra time, I’m going to begin my OBE investigations again. I’ll start with one trip every couple of weeks to avoid burnout. These expeditions are more important to me than any kind of “success” in this realm, so it’s about time I start putting my money where my mouth is. Here’s hoping I don’t get too lost out there.