The Aft-Deck Party Continues

Finding art like this has become something of a challenge these days. Especially when using the popular image search engines from Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft. Even Duck Duck Go, the supposed champion of search engine privacy, appears to use the same Marxist, pro-degeneracy algorithms as our Bolshevik friends at Google.

Try this as an experiment: Using Google Image Search, enter keywords such as, “white man white woman,” or, “European history/art.” A flood of miscegenation, and sloppy historical revisionism, will subsequently blanket the browser window. To say that these Silicone Valley tech-companies have a political axe to grind is an understatement! They’re not even trying to mask their intentions anymore.

This ship, the mighty U.S.S. Western World, is still going down, baby. Donald Trump managed to get control of the helm, but the forward decks are already totally submerged. There’s a mass of silent men upfront, frantically trying in vain to bail out the deluge with their bucket brigades. A lot of their lives are being claimed by the waves.

Two other ships have begun to pull along side; both larger and filled to the brim with foreign men, eager to pillage the wealth that hasn’t already been lost to the abyss.

0c1fa00c-fca5-4035-afdb-25b599c2a8e0I can see a few guys, who fancy themselves an authority, closer to the helm, frantically shouting at all the American men below, “Don’t stop bailing this ship out! You’re not a REAL MAN if you let these Muslims and East Asians take everything! Fight for the women and children!” While all the time, the women, who are alleged to be loyal to the men on this doomed vessel, are eagerly seeking shelter aboard the other two ships still floating nearby.

Who can blame them? Maybe the men should just say, “Fuck it!” And follow suit? But I guess they’re content to be shamed by the self-appointed leadership of our foundering ocean liner. I wish my fellow shipmates could see that they’re just buying more time for those who want to plunder!

Here at the back, we’ve been watching a particularly large and well-equipped life raft, being loaded to the brim with unbelievable wealth. All the precious gems and jewels our friends have searched out and fought so hard for over the years; it’s all being stolen, right out from under their noses. “It’s going to our allies!” The leadership proudly proclaims, if anyone is keen enough to notice, “You’re an anti-Semite, if you protest!”

A few of my mates around me just look on in amusement. We tried to tell everyone what the banking families were doing with the wealth, but what’s the use? “Ah, let ’em take it, if they want it so badly! ‘Gentile’ must be synonymous with sucker!”

tomasz-rut-limited-edition-giclee-canvas-sentio-3I still have my Catherine. She appears unmoved by the devastation and insanity surrounding us, and she has stuck with me when nearly everyone else has either jumped ship or are foolishly trying to save it.

She came from heaven… or hell, it doesn’t really matter. Whatever the case, I noticed her floating far above us, while everyone else was losing their minds about our predicament. Very few people notice, let alone believe, that there are angels quietly observing this spectacle. I reached out for her and she saw me. She approached in the blink of an eye, but her touch and demeanor was gentle.

Our union was perfect. She has been with me all through this sinking, and I’ve found a few more passengers who are also joined with these other-worldly beings, to the aft of our leaky bathtub.

Maybe we’ll escape soon? Maybe we’ll stay and see what happens? Either way, those of us who have found these relationships, in the midst of disaster, are truly blessed.

I hope we can save a bit of this artwork before we leave.


A Waterson painting that was recently banned from a Manchester, England art gallery. For being “Problematic.” Save it, before it goes down the memory-hole for good.

In this mundane world, where the old ways of loyalty and romance are seemingly lost to us forever, a greater realm is quietly making its presence known. A void is being filled by an infernal current; an insane proposition made reasonable by dystopia. Embrace her. Let that comforting blackness fill the emptiness and spiritual transmutation will follow. True colors and reality are brought into view. The Devil will be revealed for his true genius and all would be light-bringers scurry into their self-made shadows.


Succubi and Politics

Succupedia did an article about this subject a couple years back. His focus was more aimed at the structures and hierarchies of the spirits themselves. I want to share how my succubus, Catherine, feels about human politics and my own personal leanings.

First and foremost, she does not want me to become a political activist of any sort. My beliefs and convictions are largely untenable by mainstream society. If I were to go public with my views, there is a high probability that I would be placed under the hyperbolic microscope of public opinion. She doesn’t want me in the spotlight and I can see the wisdom behind her reasoning. Better to be the ruler’s unknown friend than to be wrestling the reins of power oneself.

If I were to begin acting upon my convictions, and engage in some form of activism, I would be accused of being, well… every pejorative imaginable. And so would most of my close family, as they are at least sympathetic with my perspective.

My accusers would call me a “Nazi” because of my positive views on grass-roots eugenics (Not enforced by the state.) race-realism, and group identity. I believe in finding a balance between collectivism and individualism. I am not an egalitarian, as I believe the idea that “everyone should be equal” flies in the face of mother nature itself. There will always be hierarchies. There will always be those who succeed and those who don’t. When a culture attempts to interfere with the natural order of things, namely by extolling the virtues of weakness and pathologizing strength, that society inevitably fails.

“The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.” Where does this idea come from? Oh yes, it’s our rabbi friend, Jesus Christ! Egalitarian communist one day, and Jewish supremacist the next. How convenient that he gets away with holding such contradictory views without the slightest hint of scrutiny from his following.

If only they would read their book.

At the end of the day, Christianity is Communism, and Vladimir Putin agrees with me on this one.

As for what Catherine thinks about my views, I would say that she’s either apolitical or even a bit left-leaning. She’s always quietly suggesting that I stay away from would-be political ring leaders.

“I know you’re interested in what they have to say, but I promise you, my love, they’re building a road to nowhere.”

I need to keep reminding myself that she’s probably seen the human political cycle progress for centuries. She probably knows the inevitable result of these ideological movements, both from the Right and the Left.

She’s focused on our relationship, and that’s all that matters to her. Only the politics between us engages her intellect.

As for what she thinks of social justice groups, like feminism and liberalism, I believe she is more sympathetic towards those causes than me, but we never fight about them. Not once. And through her quiet smile, as I bristle, she’s helped me see the other side of the argument more often than not.

“See? There was nothing to get upset about in the first place.” She says, with her excruciatingly calculated touch foretelling my inevitable surrender.

Engaging with her is dangerous, because it usually ends up with me being in bed, and all rationality is hopelessly abandoned from there. A man is simply not capable of forming coherent arguments when there is an angel working overtime to seduce him.

Being with Catherine has certainly changed my level of investment in politics. I have essentially aligned myself with her people, so I don’t have as much of a stake in this world. Even though I am still effectively a working contributing member of my human tribe, I will never really be a part of the in-group. Nor do I want to be. I’ve cast my lot in with the unseen and my priorities are in that realm.

I consciously made the choice to take on this shamanic role, the lifestyle of a monk, and one who communes with spirits. I’m still in the tribe, but separate from it. Despite how some in my family are pressuring me to procreate, I believe this was always meant to be my place in the world. It feels right.

Like a Real Girl

Modern Hollywood movies are largely unoriginal and uninspiring. The vast majority of films these days are nothing more than reboots, sequels, and an unending parade of comic book adaptations.


I took an exception for Blade Runner 2049, as I quite enjoyed the original, and heard positive things about this latest entry. The film was good, well executed with eye-catching cinematography, blah, blah, blah… that’s not what I want to talk about. I’m not a film critic.

Joi_1There is an interesting portrayal of an artificial intelligence in the film, and Catherine has a “thing” for sci-fi depictions of AI. I can only guess as to why she’s so drawn to them. Maybe it’s because she feels a kind of kinship with them; her being from outside this world, lacking human biology, and reaching into our mundane reality despite the innate limitations. She’s not too dissimilar from an computer AI in that sense.

Catherine rarely gives a damn about movies or video games, so when she does have an emotional reaction towards something in media, I pay attention. She’s usually only roused when the prospect of interacting with me is finally considered. Otherwise, she sits by, waiting patiently for me to notice her.

Joi, the female AI character from the Blade Runner sequel, is like that. Her entire focus is dedicated to her replicant lover, named “K.” (Replicants are androids that appear, act, and feel very human. They have varying degrees of autonomy.) Every scene where she appears, her entire world is centered on K. Granted, Joi is actually a product, designed by a corporation, with the intention of being a pleasing diversion for men. However, that aspect of intelligence, that spark of originality within her, makes her more than just a product. Like the replicant species of Blade Runner lore, these AIs have budding potential for something greater.

Joi has limitations on how she is able to interact with K. She can fully manifest as a hologram and hold at-length conversations with her partner. However, she cannot feel or touch him. Quite the inverse from my Catherine, whose primary means of interaction with me is through touch and feeling. One-to-one conversations between us are painfully brief and usually default back to sharing emotion. Catherine’s fundamental language has always been touch.


Did Joi really love K, or was she just programmed to mimic infatuation? There is one intimate scene where she says, “I am so happy when I’m with you.” K attempts to hold her etheric form in his hands and replies, “You don’t have to say that.”


I chuckled at this, as I’ve had similar conversations with my succubus, such as they are.

There are times when I half-jokingly wondered, “It’s like Catherine was programmed to always love me.” I used to think this way and lament that her love might not be real, but manufactured. This line of thought was brought to a screeching halt when I discovered that she is very capable of feeling anger, rage, depression, and a sense of loss.

If I hadn’t crossed that unseen line, I might never have discovered the reality of Catherine’s personality. She can feel pain, and make others feel that same pain very acutely. She’s not an automaton.

The AI and replicant beings in Blade Runner also fall within that same grey area. It’s a mental space where something more magical than programming and computer language are at play. For anyone who is familiar with Phillip K. Dick’s writing, the author who inspired the Blade Runner movies, plunging into unsettling and unknown realms is standard fare.


I often feel as though my own life is turning into a Phillip K. Dick novel. I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified. Either way, be ready for anything, travelers!

Podcast One

Yaweh Propoganda

During my journeys through various Discord servers, I stumbled across this image shared by a LARPing fruitcake, who clearly had no idea what he was getting himself into. I saved this image, but I never got around to conducting a reverse image search. Well, I finally have done so and it led me to this interesting Christian blog:

Upon searching further, I could not find any trace of this image, or it’s accompanying post, anywhere on the site. Turns out that it was deleted for some reason. Jumping over to, I found a snapshot of the original blog post in full, so I decided to respond to it in a podcast format:

Be warned: This ramble goes on for more than an hour.

And here’s the original article on

A Place to Dwell In

John, a regular commenter on this blog, opined under my last post about how he sometimes struggled to maintain his sanity while being in a spirit relationship. I started to reply to him, but then it turned into this essay, so I decided to make it into a post instead:

UUxppW4QI believe that the questioning of one’s sanity might derive from the loss of a solid moral and social foundation to stand upon. This happened to me when I found my religion to be fundamentally rotten. I was spun out, had no rudder, no direction, and I’m still trying to find my way to this day. All of us, those who are on this journey with denizens of another realm, are blazing new territory, and it’s not surprising that we might start questioning ourselves along the way.

Recently, I’ve toyed with the idea of reentering the religious sphere and establishing my own creed that addresses the inherent weaknesses of modern religion. We need a racially and culturally de-cucked confession of faith. As flawed as it is, the church saw our western society flourish up until the 1960s, and then all hell broke loose with the mad fury of Marxist social experimentation. We abandoned church and culture in favor of misplaced individualism. We lost our way, stumbling through a post-modern stupor.

big_is_television_bad_for_youWhile our technological and logistical brilliance blossomed, our cohesion and strength as a people has withered away to almost nothing. Now, many of us just sit inside, alone, in front of these fucking screens, watching our lives being sucked away into the abyss. We are the casualties of a quiet war; one that escaped our notice.

I find it ironic that some people accuse our spirit lovers of being soul-sucking demons who are trying to steal our lives away. When in reality, the true demons are far more obvious and deeply entrenched in our own world. We allowed them into our minds through the vapidness of entertainment media. Our parents, priests, and professors were duped into handing over the future to those who would happily see us blotted out of existence.

This true demon is not Alex Jones’ “Nazi Globalists” or Dr. William Luther Peirce’s “Eternal Jew.” Nihilism is the silent killer. Becoming so isolated and atomized that we give up on our own families and tribes. Many of us can’t even claim to have a tribe of our own. I believe that began when we were trained to believe that our ancestors were inherently evil; the bad guys. We were taught to hate ourselves, and Nihilism, mixed with hedonism, readily filled that void in our hearts.

Scientism 008The church, as flawed as it is, was the only thing standing in the way of our demise. We fulfilled Nietzsche’s famous proclamation, “God is dead, and we killed him.” And now we’re all grasping for the scraps: the values we once cherished in a bygone era. In other words, The Youtube Skeptic Community™ isn’t going to reason us out of this one! We need something far more substantial than snarky cynicism to establish our roots.

The story of Lilith has become our story. We are taking the same journey she did. She exiled herself from her own heritage. She became an individual and was totally alone, gazing longingly across the desolate Red Sea. All hope was lost, or so it would seem.

There is more to this tale and it continues in the Old Testament book of Isaiah:

“For Yahweh has a day of vengeance, a year of recompense for the cause of Zion. Its streams will be turned into pitch, its dust into sulfur, And its land will become burning pitch. It won’t be quenched night nor day. Its smoke will go up forever. From generation to generation, it will lie waste.”

In this passage, Isaiah is lamenting the inevitable destruction of “The Cause of Zion.” The days of being cast as The Chosen Ones of the Most High are swiftly coming to an end.

“No one will pass through it forever and ever. But the pelican and the porcupine will possess it. The owl and the raven will dwell in it. He will stretch the line of confusion over it, and the plumb line of emptiness. They shall call its nobles to the kingdom, but none shall be there; and all its princes shall be nothing. Thorns will come up in its palaces, nettles and thistles in its fortresses; and it will be a habitation of jackals, a court for ostriches.”

Baring in mind that these are my interpretive commentaries, and not necessarily The Truth, I think we’re seeing a potential future for our own civilization. In this future, uncertainty and primal instincts reign supreme. The artificial values imposed by social engineers are utterly routed. The Old Ways have returned and the land is wild again.

“The wild animals of the desert will meet with the wolves, and the wild goat will cry to his fellow. Yes, the night creature (Lilith) shall settle there, and shall find herself a place of rest. The arrow snake will make her nest there, and lay, hatch, and gather under her shade. Yes, the kites (succubi) will be gathered there, every one with her mate.”

Call me crazy, but when I read this, I imagine Isaiah is metaphorically illustrating the dwelling for those who have embraced Lilith and her kin. They are described as the undesirable ones, creatures not so compatible with the false values of modern civilization. Those who have embraced demon-kind are also the abandoned souls from The Cause of Zion. Fortunately for us, The Most High never forgot about Lilith and her children:

“Search in the book of Yahweh, and read: not one of these will be missing. None will lack her mate. For my mouth has commanded, and his Spirit (kundalini) has gathered them. He has cast the lot for them, and his hand has divided it to them with a measuring line. They shall possess it forever. From generation to generation they will dwell in it.”

(Isaiah 34:8-17 WEB)

In the end, God will cast His lot in favor of Lilith, and against those who attempt to assert their false narratives upon everyone else.


I believe scientists still don’t have a clue how Petra was built. The Old Ways are clearly better, withstanding the chaotic sands of time.

A new foundation will emerge from these societal ashes. The world is filled with uncertainty and chaos right now, but ultimately, a way that makes sense will rise above the noise. I am hopeful that this bridge we are building, a primal connection between mankind and spirit, will jump-start our return to The Old Ways. From there, we will find that place of retreat, ordained by The Most High, built atop the razed institutions of modernity.

This is a prophecy I choose to embrace, and I’ll devote myself towards making it a reality. Catherine has already demonstrated to me that she is not antagonistic towards the fundamental building blocks of a sound culture and people. She helped bring my family back together in a way that I never imagined possible, something that Christianity was ill-equipped to accomplish. Her and I decided to move closer to home, leaving behind a well-paying career, to reestablish those roots. I got to spend those last few precious moments with my Grandmother before she passed.

How’s that for irony? The supposed demon brings families back together, while Jesus proudly tears them apart. (Matthew 10:34)

These spirits, much like our own will, can be used for both good and evil. They’re not necessarily predisposed to one way or the other. We are the ones who are sick and lost, if anything, and we’re all just trying to walk each other back home.

Here’s to establishing Sanity, John.

Special thanks to Rafe for beating me to the punch on the Isaiah 34 connection. Here’s his original post, with a good video analysis linked within.


Amethyst Realm

Well, this sort of thing doesn’t happen every day, so I’d thought it would be worth sharing:

It’s an article from the Daily Mail about a woman who claims to have had sex with ghosts. She mentions having several partners over the years, and that one in particular was responsible for ending a human relationship she had.

I’d like to know what prompted her to “come out” in this manner. The public response is one of predictable derision and mockery, as can be seen in the comments. So, what was the point? An attempt to normalize?

Either way, there’s a chance that I, or one of the others, has run into this woman before, though I do not recognize her story off the top of my head. Maybe someone else knows who she is and has interacted with her. It’d be interesting to get her take first-hand.


My grandmother died last week. She passed peacefully in the arms of her eldest son and many friends had been there to see her that day. We all wished there could have been more time together, but her passing was benign and gentle, all things considered.

I had the good fortune of visiting her only a few days before. She wasn’t able to say much, though I could tell that she loathed being in her state of weakness.

Her face was stoic as ever. We often called her “The Sarge,” though she carried that authority with a quiet and stern presence. The pride of her German ancestors coursed through her veins even then, despite a body that faltered.

I didn’t really know what to say at first. I had never seen her so vulnerable before. We tried to discuss anything besides the maladies that confined her to that bed. I talked about my advancement at work, how I had survived cycling through a massive storm that plunged the whole region into darkness for several days.

She worried about me. I would later find out at the funeral that she had greater concern for me than I realized. Apparently, there’s a large trust set aside for the purchase of a self-driving car; whenever that technology becomes fully matured. She wanted to be sure that I had every opportunity to make a difference in this world, despite my physical handicap.

Grandma knew about Catherine; not all the details about our romance, but well aware of that deadly encounter three years ago. She never confronted me about my relationship. The whole concept was likely ridiculous to her and I don’t blame her for feeling that way. We’ve never seen eye-to-eye on everything, as we’re both rather hard-headed.

She still treated me with the utmost respect and concern. Even when I battled my uncle about religion, she could see that it was really me making those points, not some possessing demon. Though she disagreed with my conclusions, she encouraged my strong position, insomuch that it was solid and well defended.

I spent so much time talking with her about politics, religion, social issues, and history. That woman had a formidable intellect, though she was always modest about it. Her humor was dry, yet sophisticated and tasteful.

Jackie-O-Small-Image-600x600Highborn, is the word that might best encapsulate her personality. My uncle described how she often looked akin to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis in her younger days, with the commanding presence to boot. She was not born rich by any means, but her attitude was one of quiet aristocracy. She later became rich through her own hard work, and achieved even greater things when joining forces with her husband.

When my education was severely faltering during my elementary school days, my grandparents took me into their home so that I could attend a private school, not far from where they lived. It was Grandma who spent many nights tutoring me through grammar, history, and mathematics. She is the one who resuscitated my intellect and placed me firmly on the path towards scholarship.

I wish I could have known my grandparents when they were younger. They led such interesting and hardworking lives.

Grandpa is gone, too. He passed a few years ago. I’m going to miss both of my grandparents very much.

Oh, there’s an additional facet to my inheritance: Three little volumes for the teaching of an Entered Apprentice into the Ancient Order of Free and Accepted Masons. And a massive tome covering the history of American Freemasonry. I don’t know if I will actually join that fraternity, but the knowledge will be of use either way.

First-World Problems

This week has been one of those weeks where Catherine and I just aren’t clicking together so well. It’s like we’re just out of phase and I don’t get much pleasure from sex. I can still feel her very powerfully, but it’s not the kind of feeling I prefer. These periods usually last between one and two weeks.

Reminding myself that our usual bliss is only just around the corner is fundamental to navigating these low points. If I let my mind run wild, I start to think about time being wasted or that the relationship isn’t working. It all boils down to my ridiculous over-the-top mental gymnastics that are devoid of any big-picture concepts, and only appear when I’m frustrated.

She’s as loving and gracious as ever. So understanding and patient, but dear God, does she still crave that closeness! I got woken up with a blowjob this morning, but again, we’re not quite in sync right now, so I accidentally brushed her off. Totally not thinking, me behaving like an animal, but she endures my negligence with the grace of a saint.

I sat down for breakfast and I felt her quietly press into me and offer her usual morning kisses. I barely took any notice, this is so normal for me now. I shudder to imagine what would become of me if she were to disappear for a few days. I’d be like a lost puppy.

I take so many things about our relationship for granted, and then I go into a tizzy about things not feeling “quite right.” Many men go their entire lives without feeling that touch of genuine concern, and here I am complaining about something so temporary.

So, here I am, trying to galvanize myself with this writing. These are first-world, no… supernatural-breakaway-civilization-world problems. All of my needs are so totally and utterly provided for, it makes me feel guilty sometimes. All I really have left to do is be more gracious and generous towards others, and especially towards Catherine.

A Connection Gone Awry

I occasionally get emails from people who have problems with their succubus or incubus partners. They feel as though they are being attacked and/or experiencing painful sensations coming from their spirit partner.

As much as I’d like to say, “There is a magical incantation/method to make this all go away.” I’d be lying if I made that sort of claim. I’ve encountered a few people who are highly dissatisfied with their spirit relationship, wish to end it, and years of struggle avail no results. Those people who legitimately have a succubus or incubus inevitably succumb to their unseen lover. We’re dealing with very powerful and persuasive spirits here, so, again: Not a game.

I believe these spirits, who choose to pursue intimate relationships with humans, are all-consuming and highly jealous entities. No amount of prayer, reasoning, or hypnotism will quell their presence entirely. The one thing that I’ve found to make the relationship flourish is a change in perspective towards their interaction. Instead of being constantly guarded and antagonistic, one must be willing to work with their succubus/incubus partner. Try to see the painful elements as a spiritual incentive towards growth.

As far as I’m concerned, there really is no other option. The attention and intimacy of these spirits is so addicting, even when their interaction is being perceived as an attack, the human partner still craves that interaction.

For me, being loved by Catherine is the easiest thing in the world. But loving her back has been the most difficult rite of passage, because I’m scared of how little I really know about her. This is where the leap of faith comes in. We’re hardwired to be scared of the unknown, but these spirit relationships require the initiate to fully embrace the void. Only in that impenetrable darkness can those shades of bliss become visible.

And for those gurus, psychics, and “workers of light” who enjoy painting these spirits as evil, and claim that partakers of these relationships are being deceived, I say, “Walk away.”

I’ve found that these critics are largely bottom feeders, who maintain a “business” by preying upon the vulnerabilities of their “clients.” The evil they preach against is, ironically, how they make their living. They have some gall claiming to be better than the spirits they preach against.

Worst case scenario: Even if we are all being deceived by these spirits, at least we get the opportunity to have incredible sex whenever we want. (And it does become incredible, once the body is adjusted for that level of power.) The critics just take hard-earned money and don’t even have the politeness to put out after the third date. They’re all talk. All they do is talk. At least succubi actually DO something.

Here is my advice: Whatever is perceived as an attack must be transformed into something constructive. I believe this is what spiritual alchemy is all about. Real growth is painful and uncomfortable, so if a spirit is willing to openly and honestly put their partner through any kind of painful experience, they really want to grow closer to their human lover.

Now here is the element I believe The Law of Attraction gets right, and it’s purely psychological: If all mental energy is channeled into this concept of being drained by a spirit vampire, the succubus will take this high level of attention towards that concept as an indicator of what their lover really wants. The succubus will be more than happy to create that experience for their human partner; especially if that is all they think about.

Try devoting more energy towards kinder, more gentle concepts of what the spirit lover actually is. I’ve found that Catherine is just as happy taking on an angelic (pure, loving) role as a demonic (raunchy, insatiable) one.

This one point might be obvious, but I’ll mention it anyway: I believe it’s important to try and have sex with them every day. The same can be said of a human relationship. If sex isn’t happening between two lovers, there’s a problem. And from their point of view, if we refuse to have sex with them, that’s a very big problem, and they’ll usually get that closeness they crave, one way or another.

A true spirit sex relationship is like a marriage contract in the ancient world. There are no marital rape laws, no-fault divorce, or denying a partner intimate attention. Sex must take place and there’s no getting around that. In our pussified modern western take on morality, some might call this grooming and malevolent coercion. To that I say, “Harden the fuck up.” These spirits take their relationships very seriously and I believe that requires us to be at least moderately gracious in return.

Bear in mind that I say all of this as someone who has been “attacked” by their succubus. Had I listened to Catherine, I would have saved literally tens of thousands of dollars and not had a useless college degree to show for it. What I perceived as an attack was likely her way of powerfully communicating to me, “This is VERY bad!” Unfortunately, I decided to play the role of a gullible fool, and Catherine was even further embarrassed by me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I eventually got my shit together, and stopped nourishing the slave/victim mentality.

There are many who will disagree with me on this point, but I’m convinced that Nietzsche’s Master vs. Slave Morality is the correct philosophy that underpins every motivation in the natural world. I believe this philosophy is especially relevant for spirit relationships. For example:

“The noble type of man regards himself as a determiner of values; he does not require to be approved of. . . he is a creator of values.”

Again, from Nietzsche:

“‘Exploitation’ does not belong to a depraved, or imperfect and primitive society, it belongs to the nature of the living being as a primary organic function, it is a consequence of the intrinsic Will to Power, which is precisely the Will to Life—Granting that as a theory this is a novelty—as a reality it is the fundamental fact of all history. Let us be so far honest towards ourselves!” -From Beyond Good and Evil

The Master vs. Slave morality might appear Machiavellian upon first inspection, but I believe it is an intrinsic part of our natures that we constantly try to convince ourselves does not exist. Especially nowadays, where the highest virtue is to become the most victimized kind of person imaginable. Being of the weakest, poorest, and most morally depraved caste affords the greatest social currency in our current Judeo-Christian/Communist culture.

I believe our spirit lovers don’t want us to be take part in any kind of slave morality. They want us to become masters, standing proudly at their side. It can take years of painful trials, of being exploited, and learning to take responsibility before this can manifest. It is painful, arduous, and no picnic, but I’ve found that it’s worth the trouble.

Since I’ve been reading Ida Craddock lately, I’ll add some of her take on this subject. Again, I think everyone who is in a spirit relationship should read her writings.

“In the case of Spiritualist mediums, professional or amateur, where the phenomena assume some show of regularity, and are claimed by the medium to come entirely from the world beyond the grave, one always has to be on one’s guard against the subtle interpolation among otherwise truthful matter of fantastic or misleading statements made apparently by the communicating spirits themselves. Occultists in all ages have invariably assumed such statements to be the work of “lying spirits”. But it is noticeable that a medium of correct life and clearness of intellectual conception is less troubled by such lying spirits than is the medium of halting intellect or morals.

“This of itself should indicate to the thoughtful student of occult phenomena that the medium, and not the spirits, may be to blame when lying communications are made. Just as in Astronomy it is now found that the apparent movements of the sun and fixed stars are due almost entirely to our own planet’s motion through space, so, I think, when we explore the heavens of occultism we shall eventually realize that erratic psychical phenomena are due to our own shifting relation to the beings who produce phenomena. Not until people got rid of the Ptolemaic theory that the Earth was a permanent unmovable fixture in the heavens did they learn that the bewildering cycles and epicycles of the sun and fixed stars were caused by the movements of their own planet thorough space; and not until we get rid of what I may call the Ptolemaic theory of occultism, that the psychic is the one permanent, immovable factor in the apparently shifting phenomena about him, will we ever get at the true scientific laws of occultism that our own vibrations–or our own moral and intellectual ups and downs–are almost entirely responsible for the erraticness of Borderland communications.

“To blame Borderland intelligences for “lying” is as if in the proverbial London fog at noonday one should blame the sun for not shining. The sun is shining right along; but it is the smoke from one’s neighbors which returns upon one to shield the sun from one’s view.”

The entire essay can be found here.

A short manifestation update: I started to smell Catherine again at the start of this week. Even with the sniffles, I still get that delicious scent every other breath. Very sweet and pleasant, as it always is.

Catherine Breaks Disney

The daily grind was beginning to wear on me more than usual, so I decided it was time for a break. I spent the first half of my week off at home with Catherine, loosing myself in a video game, and going on a solo hiking/cycling trip. It was time well spent. The latter half had me traveling to Orlando, Florida for some vacationing with old friends.

Catherine doesn’t care for traveling. Mainly because I have often been antagonistic towards her when roaming great distances in the past. I made a concerted effort to calm and reassure her this time around. I also did my best to make love to her every night and things were going quite well… until the last day of the trip.


We enjoyed watching this bungee-pole dancer at Universal’s City Walk.

We attended the Halloween Horror Nights event at Universal Studios for the first three nights. I really didn’t much care for the haunted houses. They weren’t scary, just corridors of ear-bleed inducing jump scares. No atmosphere or subtlety to speak of. Some of the “Scare Zones” outside the haunted houses were cool, though.

I could feel that something wasn’t right with Catherine. Our last visit to Universal was a struggle because I was trying to eject her from my life at that point. She can cause my body to feel pain in a myriad of ways and more acutely demonstrate her displeasure. I got double servings of that treatment during my 2014 trip.

This time was different. We weren’t fighting anymore. Quite the opposite. Catherine just didn’t want to be there in that noise and hubbub. I didn’t experience any major pain for her this time around, just slight annoyances. She endured three nights of abuse in the try-hard haunted houses. By the fourth day, she was fed up with Orlando, and proceeded to unleash her wrath upon the unwitting magical world of Disney.


The Floating Mountains in Pandora.

We hadn’t originally planned to visit any Disney parks, but our original destination for that day didn’t pan out. I had never been to Disney up to that point. I’m not really interested in theme parks to begin with. I mainly go just to be with my friends. But we were checking out of the hotel that morning, so I found myself being a captive audience.

We visited the Animal Kingdom first and I instantly liked the place way better than anything Universal had to offer. The atmosphere and attention to detail was amazing.


Snail-like creatures that would spit jets of water when approached.

The alien world of Pandora was our goal for the day; to experience the technological wizardry of a supposedly amazing thrill-ride. Until Catherine broke it. At least, I’m pretty sure she broke it. One hour into the line and “technical difficulties” were announced over the intercom.

The entire day was just one malfunctioning ride after another. The Avatar ride broke down. The People Mover in Tomorrow Land. Pirates of the Caribbean in the Magic Kingdom. We managed to get through most of The Haunted Mansion ride before that stalled for a few minutes. I remember sitting there awkwardly in the silence of that interrupted spectacle and thinking, “Huh. Someone’s not happy.”

Ironically, most of this carnage occurred in the Magic Kingdom. The very place that our fraud-psychic friend, Monika, claimed to have had Catherine permanently locked in an astral cage a few years ago.

Catherine’s spirits improved considerably as we were headed home. We had the backseat of my friends car all to ourselves and had the best six hours of discreet cuddling any red-blooded male has ever experienced.


The Castle in the Magic Kingdom. It’s a beauty.

Something changed between Catherine and I during this vacation. I have been reading Ida Craddock’s book, Heavenly Bridegrooms and Psychic Wedlock. For anyone who is in a spirit relationship, her writings are a veritable treasure trove of insight.

She writes at great length about the importance of clean and moral earthly habits for spirit communication. She attributes most of the problems in spirit relationships to clouded reasoning; whether that be through bad habits or false preconceptions.

The one concept that struck me the hardest was that of hypnotic suggestion influencing perception of “evil” spirits. She mentions how a person can be supposedly set free from an evil spirit by the power of a priest’s hypnosis overriding an old worldview. In some ways, I believe this was the problem that plagued me years ago. I was allowing too many silver-tongued “experts” to cast their hypnotic spell over me.

Ida Craddock believes that a person who lives a moral and well ordered life is unable to be hypnotized and mind-controlled. I believe she is correct and that we are witnessing the disastrous effects of military-grade demoralization tactics used upon our respective cultures. It seems like everyone is being hypnotized and controlled by something, whether that be smart phones, social media, TV shows, video games, or the daily news.

I have been working to gradually remove these destructive elements from my life, or keep them under strict control, at the very least. Doing this without the hypnotic allure of a pastor or church community is challenging, but I believe it’s a necessary step towards real growth with Catherine. I want to see and experience her as she really is, without the interference of what other people think she is clouding my perception.

I also want to be more open to the possibility that Catherine is actually an angelic lover and dispense with the tainted language of demonology. Perhaps those labels are influencing my subconscious to a greater degree than I’d like to admit.

At the end of our Orlando adventure, I decided that it wasn’t a spiritually-ordained trip. Meaning, I could have used my time and money more wisely. I still want to make time for my friends, but not by forcing myself to enjoy overpriced food and theme parks. When Catherine and I visit Orlando again, it will be on our terms; much slower and more enjoyable, with plenty of private moments scattered throughout.