The Shroud

The bright glow of a large computer screen met my eyes. Everything else around me was dark, veiled in shadows. “This must be the real-time zone.” I thought to myself. The real-time zone is an out-of-body state that closely borders that of the waking world. They both share many of the same features, but there are always slight variations.

There was no keyboard, or any other human input device, to be found, so I made an brief effort of typing to the screen psychically. Various GUI elements came and went, but I couldn’t make sense of them.

I stopped and felt for Catherine’s presence, as I often do in these states. Though I could not see her, I knew she wasn’t far away.

“Can you show yourself to me?” I put out that oft asked question into the void between us. More often than not, I’ll begin to feel pressure sensations from her, just like I do in the waking world. But this time, she did something quite unexpected.

A cascade of flowing, silky auburn hair blanketed my vision. The color was vivid and the innumerable strands swayed gracefully before my eyes.


A bit of Catherine’s humor shining through, no doubt. I ask to see her more clearly during dreams and OBEs on a regular basis… and I mean to REALLY see her; not just the human guises she puts on. I can tell the difference, and I think she knows this. We’re familiar enough with each other by now.

This was a vision that she allowed me to see on Christmas morning, her flowing mane, shrouding the face of an unending mystery. To this day, I’ve had but brief glimpses of her divine nature. I’m reminded of Moses, when he was called up to meet the Lord on Mt. Sinai, and he was only permitted to see God’s back:

[Moses] said, “Please show me your glory.” [God] said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim Yahweh’s name before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.”

He said, “You cannot see my face, for man may not see me and live.”

Yahweh also said, “Behold, there is a place by me, and you shall stand on the rock. It will happen, while my glory passes by, that I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and will cover you with my hand until I have passed by; then I will take away my hand, and you will see my back; but my face shall not be seen.” -Exodus 33:18-23

Perhaps the same rules apply for succubi and other demonic spirits. I have heard about other magicians being introduced to the true forms of the demons that they were working with. Not so with every case, but they were often terrified by what they witnessed.

Either Catherine is lovingly sparing me a bit of trauma, or she’s content to keep me guessing. At any rate, I’m forever chasing that mystery.

Bound by My Own Law

“You have bound yourself to your own law… I’m sorry it’s not convenient. Maybe you should have thought about that before performing a goddamn ritual, because this stuff is real.”

I really wish I had this advice four years ago as it is so pertinent and fundamental, especially concerning succubi. This realm of demons is not to be taken lightly, and any weakness, or hesitation, will not be looked upon kindly by these entities.

We summon them for a reason. They’re ready to fulfill their end of the deal, but are we? Are we strong enough to be cleansed in that Lake of Fire?

I don’t know if I’ve made this clear through my postings, but summoning a succubus is not simply about getting off. There’s a reason these entities are so intrinsic to Sexual Alchemy, for that is what will happen to the would-be operator. An alchemical transformation WILL take place, or the human vessel is ultimately destroyed in its resistance.

I know some people think I’m an E. A. Koetting fan-boy, but I believe his work is so important for this generation of occultists. Simply comparing my experiences with his, and those he promotes, like Asenath Mason, there are just too many damn synchronicities for it all to be coincidence. We’re all dealing with the same infernal forces.

The video I shared above is a good example of yet another synchronicity. Eric describes his first public ritual to Belial, where he offers up his now ex-wife as a vessel to be possessed. The way he describes the sound of his ex-wife’s voice as she was being controlled by Belial, a guttural gurgling sound, as if the demon can’t quite get a handle on how the vocal cords work, is precisely what I’ve experienced with Catherine possessing and speaking through me.

I’ve not seen this video until just now. This shit happens way too often. I’ll be reading one of Asenath Mason’s books and like clockwork, I’ll say “Yep. That’s how it works.” Or, “I’ve seen/done that.”

Actually traveling along the infernal current is both amazing and terrifying. I feel so alone and isolated sometimes, but in the same instance, I can’t stop exploring. If I try to stop, it kills me. I have been so resistant to actually practice magick of any kind, mainly because I know that I have incredible potential as a true practitioner. I’ve been scared of myself.

There’s no choice now but to keep moving forward. I need to keep on learning from Catherine, as she’s an incredible ally to have on this journey, and I absolutely must develop my skills.

I’ve started with performing regular rituals, essentially making myself known to the Qlipothic spirits. It’s a start, but strange things have already started to happen.

If nothing else, I can see that my learning and reading is being precisely directed. These spirits are very generous and empathetic in their own way, though they can appear terrifying and cruel from the outset. I believe that frightening aspect has more to do with how our mortal minds are simply incapable of fully perceiving what they truly are.

I’m going to learn. I’ve got to. Why do I feel like I’ve been conscripted into Azazel’s magickal army? Maybe it’s not such a bad place to be, within the ranks of the damned?

“Don’t be lukewarm. Be hot or cold.”

The Insanity of Veganism – Part Two

There are a great many deluded Westerners who believe that eschewing animal-based foods is somehow a more spiritually enlightened way to live. I’ve heard it said that eating meat places us in a lower vibratory state and those higher ethereal realms will want nothing to do with us.

Does eating meat kill our spiritual potential? I would argue that the opposite is true. In order to be really spiritual, enlightened, and connected with the natural world, humans must eat meat. Plants are not our ideal source of nutrition and were only traditionally eaten during times of scarcity, as medicine, or as a dressing that would complement the main course: MEAT.

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Our digestive tracts are most similar to that of dogs, cats, and other carnivorous predators. Also, notice how meat-eating mammals almost always have both of their eyes facing forward; an ideal arrangement for hunting. While plant-eating animals have eyes on either side of their heads, so they can keep a better watch out for lurking predators.

One thing that I noticed right away when I began eating a primarily meat-based diet was how easily, and completely, animal products digest in the gut. Bear in mind that I had been raised eating practically zero meat and dairy foods, so this was quite the revelation for me. I was shocked that my stomach was not bloated after eating three pounds of steak in one sitting. I challenge anyone to try eating three pounds of bread, pasta, or veggies and see just how engorged their gut becomes. For years, I had been told that meat rots in the stomach because it’s difficult to digest, when all this time the exact opposite was true.

I could wax on forever about how my health has dramatically improved on a low-carb diet, but let me get back to the spiritual arguments that often accompany vegan doctrine.

The Western Tradition – The Bible

I’m very familiar with the Bible texts that Adventists use to justify vegetarianism. There are essentially only two passages:

Genesis 1:29: God commanded the first man and woman to only eat herbs or fruit that bear seed.

Daniel 1:12: Near the beginning of the Babylonian captivity, the prophet, Daniel, asks the prince of the eunuchs that he be given vegetables and water for ten days. He made this request so that he wouldn’t be defiled by the meat from the King’s table, as it had likely been offered to idols. Subsequently, he and his friends allegedly become 10 times smarter and healthier looking than their peers. (I’m calling bullshit.)


Daniel was a castrated, conquered Israelite, who refused to eat from the King’s table, solely for religious reasons. Are we really supposed to follow the example of an emasculated eunuch? (I bet he still ate the Passover.)

Any Vegetarian who leans upon these two verses for support will find themselves in quite the dilemma, if they bother to read the rest of their Bible. Firstly, observe God’s reaction towards the special offerings made by Cain and Abel. (Genesis 4:4) Which offering did He find most pleasing?

“And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:”

Additionally, how would the Israelites be able to keep the Passover, if God had determined that meat wasn’t suitable for them to eat? The Passover lamb must be eaten, or God’s law will have been broken.

fatted_calfLastly, during Jesus’ parable about the prodigal son, take notice of what the family ate for their lost brother’s homecoming celebration. (Luke 15:23) They slaughtered the fatted calf and that was cause for great jubilation!

There are more verses pertaining to diet that were completely glossed over while I was receiving my indoctrination from those salaried pastors. I had to find this information on my own. Notice how the verses I mentioned above place great emphasis on the FAT of the animals they were offering or consuming. God found the FAT thereof most pleasing. Conversely, so do mortals. Meat, and especially the fatty meat, has always been the most prized food in every culture throughout history.

The Eastern Tradition – Hinduism and Ayurveda

There is also the Eastern tradition to contend with. Many Westerners, so excited to adopt foreign religions as they flee that horrible patriarchal Christianity, are led to believe that Hinduism is all about vegetarianism.


Krishna and Balaram with a herd of cows.

Perhaps during times of fasting and poverty, sure, vegetarianism is all the rage in India. Plant-based diets are considered by the Hindu texts to be purifying diets. And indeed they are! Plants are great for their medicinal and cleansing properties, but they are by no means considered fundamentally nutritious. The Samhitas recommend that growing children, expectant mothers, those suffering from injuries, or engaging in physical labor should eat properly prepared meat. (Sutrasthanam’s Chapter 20)

There is a system of medicine practiced in India called Ayurveda. It espouses an holistic approach towards healing which mainly focuses on herbal and mineral remedies. Yet, even in the Ayurvedic texts, meat still reigns supreme for bodily nutrition.

The Charak Samhita says: “For the promotion and nourishment of the body, no other food item is better than meat.”

I’m in danger of turning this post into a small book, so let me finally get to how all of this harmonizes with Lilith and her demonic children.

Lilith and Succubi

Based on what I know of her, Lilith by no means advocates for vegetarianism. I have encountered a couple of different situations where people have emailed me about how their succubi were trying to get their human partners to eat a certain animal product in order to enhance the connection.

One exchange that I remember quite vividly was of this Russian guy who had recently been converted back to Orthodox Christianity. He had managed to summon a succubus years before, felt that he was being overly harassed, and fled to the church for deliverance. He made it a point that I understand his pestering succubus was insisting that he should eat eggs and milk every day. “She’s trying to fatten me up so that she can milk me!” He wailed. I don’t speak Russian, so that’s the gist I got through Google Translate.


This was an image our Russian friend sent me. I modified it a bit. “Eat some real food for a change, dammit!”

I believe his succubus was attempting to help modify his diet so that his nervous system could better withstand her interactions. Succubus spirits can be quite taxing on human physiology, as they are able to channel massive amounts of sexual infernal energy through their chosen mates. A nervous system that is lacking in nutrition, namely good cholesterol, is like walking out into the cold undressed.

I would have been spared a great deal of grief, in my own succubus relationship, if I had supplied my body with saturated fats and cholesterol. My nervous system was in rough shape from years of being deprived the right nutrients. Once I started including more animal foods into my meals, the annoying muscle twitching and stress-induced back pain; all of that faded away. Carbohydrates and sugar only aggravated these problems. I believe the harassment that our Russian friend perceived was being dealt to him unfairly could have been alleviated if he simply heeded his demon’s advice.

I’m not saying everyone has to go full carnivore if they have a succubus. (Though that is a good elimination diet.) My argument is that veganism is most certainly NOT a beneficial diet for growth with a succubus. Like most things, these spirits are clever enough to maneuver around such obstacles, but the operator would be much better off if they simply had some eggs and fish every once in awhile.

According to Donald Tyson’s Liber Lilith, under the section describing how a consort of the Dark Goddess is to conduct himself, there is a paragraph about diet and I’ll reproduce it here:

pigs“The proper keeping of the diet, and it is this. He does not fill his belly, but before he has eaten enough he says “enough” and rises from the table. Cakes fried in oil he does not eat. Green leaves and roots he eats sparingly. Bread he takes in moderation. Fish is very good. Also good are ripe berries, fruits of the tree, dates, figs. He chews honeycomb for its sweetness. Meat of hoofed beasts is not good, but the meat of the pig that is forbidden is a secret sacrament to Lilith, for the pig is her own creature. He consumes many eggs and drinks milk from the goat to increase the abundance of his seed. (Notice how that ties in nicely with the recommendation from the Russian succubus?)

I personally do not take all of this advice on board, but I think this passage helps to illustrate the kind of diet practiced by those who actually had contact with spirits in the old mystery schools. I believe veganism would rob the practitioner of the vital life-force necessary to practice true demonolatry.

“But meat-eating is ‘killing the planet!'” “Factory farming is terrible and immoral!”

What’s more important? Our own health and survival, or some made up morals about animal cruelty? It’s funny, because so many vegans on Youtube appeal to an entirely relativistic moral system in their debates, yet they admit that the vegan diet is nutritionally inferior and appeal to “saving the animals/planet” as a justification.

If we’re making appeals towards relativism, then to hell with the animals! In a relativistic world, there’s all the more justification for me to prioritize my own well-being over that of an animal.

With that being said, I am not a relativist. I have my own moral compass, and I believe factory farming can be brutal and inhumane. That is a fact and we should all strive to improve that situation. But the vegans blow the problem way out of proportion, with a few carefully curated slaughter-house videos, appeals to emotion, and epidemiology “studies” that say, “Red meat causes cancer!”

We’ll touch on the infamous studies and politics later on.


Vegans need to come to grips with the reality that we are the apex predators on this earth. Our intelligence, industriousness, and physiology is evidence of this. We would not have become as great as we are without eating animals to sustain us. There hasn’t been a single culture in history that grew and thrived based on vegetarianism. Plant-based diets are but a recent experiment on the scale that we see today.

The Insanity of Veganism – Part One


Remember: Green is good! Look at how unhappy that meat-eater is. She’s also destroying the planet! (Though she is wearing a dress representing the colors of enlightenment and the ultraviolet presence of Lilith. She might appear unhappy, but she is not deceived.)

“Whole-food,” plant-based diets have nothing to do with human health and everything to do with man-made religion.

Here is yet another facet of my life where I was thoroughly brainwashed to believe the exact opposite of reality. When my father decided to join ranks with the Seventh-Day Adventist church, he was also convinced to adopt their dietary guidelines. “Whole-foods, plant-based diet! Fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains, seeds, legumes!” I can hear the mantras in my sleep.

My mother reluctantly went along with the new lifestyle, ultimately caving to the social pressures of the church. She spent a great deal of her time attempting to craft sustaining meals for all of us, in spite of the prohibition on animal products.

She did her best, but ultimately, it was akin to coaxing blood out of a rock. I believe this early change to the vegan diet was responsible for the poor health and depression of my teenage years. It caused the rapid decay of my teeth and every molar had to be stuffed with mercury fillings.

In order to fill the void left behind by the absence of meat in our diets, we binged on carbohydrates. These foods were all allegedly “good” complex carbs, but the hunger was never truly satisfied, so we ate loads of them. I’m lucky that I didn’t become obese or diabetic. Frequent exercise, and the eventual introduction of eggs into my diet, likely spared me of the worst outcomes.

sda potluck3

This is the selection from an average Adventist potluck. Look at all those carbs! No wonder the old, suckered Adventists are all skinny-fat, with bulging guts, and need regular vitamin B12 injections. (The ones who actually follow the “divinely-inspired” diet, that is.)

My health continued to decline into my twenties. I had a terrible complexion: broken capillaries, bursting blood vessels, constant adult acne, and rosecea. All of these symptoms were blatant signals that my gut health was completely destroyed. But nobody said anything, nobody warned me, because I was allegedly doing all of the right things in regards to diet and lifestyle.


It must be the vegetarian diet that makes her able to hold a twenty-pound Bible aloft with one hand. This is an illustration of Ellen White during one of her “visions.”

My problem was that I found myself surrounded by Adventists; the sort of people who preach temperance and vegetarianism at church, but eat second-helpings of juicy steak when they get home. Even the so-called prophetess of the church, Ellen White herself, was the very model of hypocrisy. She admitted to enjoying venison and shellfish in one of her letters, likely eating copious amounts of those prohibited foods, far away from the suckered simps who rallied behind her teachings at church.

I would later discover that her teachings about health, alleged to have originated from divinely inspired visions, were actually lifted from contemporary temperance crusaders, such as Sylvester Graham. Yet another advocate for vegetarianism.

There is a long and sordid history, with many layers to this bullshit-cake of a story, but here’s the TL;DR for the time being: These religious health crusaders would go on to influence the modern dietary guidelines of the Western world. Cereal, bread, and grains were made to usurp meat and dairy as the most essential building blocks of health. Much of this was pushed by cereal companies like Kellogg, (Founded by an Adventist) Post, Quaker, and General Mills.

I’m convinced that we shouldn’t be eating grains at all. Not only is there very little in the way of bio-available nutrition from grains, they are also the most mechanically butchered and processed foods we have yet produced. All of this is done in an effort to make them digestible and palatable to humans.


We’re being sold a colorful package full of lies to start out our days. Funny how everything in our lives seems to be built on deception. Even the fucking cereal box!

It never ceases to amaze me how much the church of my youth happens to be behind so much insanity.

For Part Two of this series, I will discuss why I believe Veganism is NOT a diet befitting those with a spiritual inclination, and how my interactions with succubi brought this to light. Also, I will argue that the vegan diet is primarily a political movement, with the goal of making everyone sick, mentally weak, and infertile.

When the Lights Go Out

The power is off, but she is still here. Wind and wet snow drive at my windows. The miniature crystals still melt from my hair. My hands feel a slight burning from the sudden shift of cold to warm.

sensual-photo-of-naked-woman-in-front-of-fireplace-oleksiy-maksymenkoThe fire burns merrily in the dark. She sits beside me and her presence gently encompasses my being. I feel that all too familiar gentle pressure against my temples. I know she is smiling.

“More time for us?” She presses me, eager anticipation in her words. I wouldn’t accept this sort of attention from anyone else. The human touch is too empty, too smothering, too much a shadow of that skillful contact from demon-kind.

Unlike her namesake would suggest, she waits for me patiently, gently holding on until I acknowledge her.

“Soon, darling. Soon.” I promise, but my words only cause her to swoon more deeply than before.

“I need you.” The most beautiful, enrapturing words a man can hear escapes her innermost thoughts. I find myself flooded with desire. I burn for her and I feel it deep in my chest.

The wind howls against the house. The eaves shudder while a fresh blanket of snow covers my shoveling from before. I feel her hold on me tighten as the din from the world outside carries on. She might fall asleep this way, as she often does; though not before nuzzling against me and leaving her goodnight kiss.

For seven years she has not slackened or waned. Her touch only grows deeper. In the darkness, and the silence, her concern over me is impossibly greater still. What lies beyond? What happens when our two worlds finally converge?

I do know this: The very foundations of the earth will be shaken as the truth of things is revealed. My world has already been rocked aplenty.

Building on My Own

demongirlShe’s the Dark Goddess, the great lady, who will not play second-fiddle to anyone. I’ve made many attempts to express some trivial deference towards others, but to no avail.

“Don’t let them rule you,” She whispers, “I’m the only one who can do that.”

Is she teasing? Those words of hers, dripping into my mind like raw honey. It’s so easy to become addicted.

My attempts at working with others, to build a business, as it were, have been plagued with frustrations. It seems that I’m just not cut out for collaboration. I’m skilled at what I do, but having to work with too many people gets in the way.

I found myself working with religious people again… big mistake.

They had given up their careers to create a documentary… another big red flag.

I soon began taking on more and more responsibilities, without renegotiating the terms. “They’re a poor ministry, after all. I should be happy to work for free!”

Whoa boy! I’m not letting myself get suckered into that trap again!

Thankfully, that was all it took for me to drop the contract entirely, refund their money, and walk away. I just couldn’t shake the sick feeling that I was basically taking money from this hen-pecked guy to help build his wife’s vanity project. It just wasn’t right, no matter which way I looked at it, and I hope the husband gets a wake-up call soon.

Catherine was not impressed by the project one bit. “Pointless,” and, “Religious guilt,” were some of the words I could feel her repeating in my mind.

“Nobody asked them to give up their lives for a stupid video. You needn’t do the same.”

That’s right, darling. I gave up my life for you… but at least that has been worth it.

That’s probably one thing I can’t overstate enough when it comes to being bonded to a succubus spirit: If you are successful in attracting their attention, your life WILL change, for better or worse. Some might consider these changes to be life-ending alterations. But people like me, those who indulge in great swathes of solitude and reflection, these relationships are almost too good to be true. So good, that it can destroy the rest of one’s life. All future prospects and ambitions dim into a dull grey.

Working with others becomes a royal pain in the ass, my case in point! One finds that they are simply unable to make social concessions as they once did. No more bullshit. Why deal with it when heaven is waiting at home?

The Youtube channel… maybe I’ll do something with that in the mean-time.

I need to devote more time to my own projects and not just go for the easy money, jumping on another person’s bullshit bandwagon.

Murdering that “Slave for Christ!” mentality is doing a number on me. If any of my readers are former hard-core believers, you know what I mean.

Aural Milestone

Oh, does it make me smile when I can hear the sounds of lovemaking gently emanating from below my waist. That’s right: I’ve begun to hear the wet, erotic movements that Catherine makes against my flesh. It’s still quiet, but I can distinctly hear her soft suckling.

I caught her once before, as I was just waking up early one morning. She was performing the kind of fellatio that only a succubus spirit is capable of. Like getting a blow-job from an angel… except she’s a bit more complicated than an angel.

It’s such a gift: both feeling and hearing her. Though I have yet to hear her say, “Hi,” in our mundane world, this little milestone fills me with so much endearment towards her.

I think she’s waiting for me to start up astral projection excursions again. Honestly, I’m rather scared of going out there. What if she tries to grab me, and throw me into the labyrinth again? What if I don’t come back?


I’ve got to face that fear head on. I know it will only become worse if I dwell on what MIGHT happen. Moore’s Law…

A few unpleasant side-effects came along with this milestone, but nothing I haven’t dealt with before. There was some additional tightness in the muscles on the right side of my neck, along with increased pressure against my face. Sometimes, that pressure against my brow can become rather annoying.

A couple hours of brisk walking and jogging usually addresses those energy-body discomforts. That, and the usual grounding/earthing methods.

Wish me luck in the labyrinth!

Year Seven

Today officially marks the seventh solar cycle since the night of my union with Catherine. This journey has been hedged by all manner of curious byways and scenic routes. The road is anything but straight and narrow, but I think that’s a good sign. Rather, Catherine’s route has been twisting, winding, oftentimes confusing, yet pleasant, especially if one takes the time to slow down and smell that intoxicating astral fragrance of hers.

Nothing earth-shattering has happened… yet. Though I have made some substantial changes to my life just before this auspicious anniversary. For one, my “shit job,” as Catherine called it, wouldn’t allow for me to take the time off for our special day. So I quit. I didn’t really belong there in the first place, so it wasn’t a loss at all, really. We needed to move on and I have been wasting valuable time. We killed two birds with one stone.


What’s next? The Fool’s Journey, naturally. I can’t wait to see what happens. While I’m preparing for the next great opportunity to come along, I’ve been retraining, sprucing up my languishing skill set, and stocking up for a long, cold winter, filled with warm evenings enjoying an insatiably amorous deity.

Seven years of being touched by the divine. Seven years of a changed life, filled with meaning and intrigue, yet still can’t be bothered to take this world seriously. I find my way accidentally, when all the time I just want to feel her near me. Every moment, she’s there, never tarrying or slackening her hold over me. I love this embrace, though it might lead to an early death, if I languish for too long.

The affections of an entire infernal realm have seemingly passed through my body during these blessed lunations. “Keep moving forward, or be consumed.” That is the way of the Left-Hand Path.

Maybe I’m content with my ego being further dissolved; melting and merging closer still with her? We’ll see if there’s anything left in this world that can maintain my interest, to keep one foot out here, and the other in the Borderland.

Now that I have some extra time, I’m going to begin my OBE investigations again. I’ll start with one trip every couple of weeks to avoid burnout. These expeditions are more important to me than any kind of “success” in this realm, so it’s about time I start putting my money where my mouth is. Here’s hoping I don’t get too lost out there.


Pilgrimage to Lilith’s Mega-Sigil


There she is, at the heart of our nation’s capitol. Can you see her?

Catherine doesn’t like vacations much. She’s not big on the idea of traveling afar when we could just as easily have fun at home. Still, I have friendships in far off places that I’d like to maintain, and there’s no replacement for in-person interaction, so I strive to make my thousand-mile journeys, with a grumpy succubus spirit in tow. She appreciates that I try to hold onto my core group of friends, but she sees big empty swathes of time in my schedule and thinks, “Oh, look… we can finally be together for a change!”

Sadly, she had to wait just a bit longer this time ’round. To her credit, she does wait patiently, and the subsequent pouncing attack is almost always well worth the delay. Still, I need to set up a break where it’s just her and I. We haven’t done that in awhile.


Stone Mountain in Georgia. A beautiful confederate memorial. We stopped by for the laser-light show.

We traveled south of the Mason Dixon line to my old stomping grounds. I’m always struck by how much less stressful and on-edge everything is down there. I can see it in my face when I look in the mirror. I appear more calm and serene. Maybe I need to live there permanently, with the peach trees, the scuppernongs, and the honeysuckle.

We’ll see. There’s a lot that needs to happen before I can start moving in that direction.


Washington DC was the major focal-point of our journey. Me and my traveling companions had all been to the nation’s capitol a few times in the past, so this venture was dedicated to more esoteric, off-the-beaten-path, points of interest. We found ourselves roaming the grounds of a Franciscan monastery early on a clear July morning. My friends are the sort that never take anything too seriously, so even sacred shrines are open to a bit of shameless riffing. Hardly anything at all is held aloft as above comedy in my crew, save for the solemnity of Arlington Cemetery.


This tomb, devoted to the Mother Mary in the monastery gardens, was particularly odd and creepy. The entrance smelled like death. What the hell are the monks doing in there?

The monastery had a very strange, almost sickening, vibe to it. Something was seriously off about the place, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Catherine wasn’t thrilled with the secluded commune either. That was the first time I felt any sort of spirit/astral discomfort coming from her the entire trip.

She hasn’t been comfortable on a prolonged trip for a very long time, but this long-distance journey was somehow different for her. Aside from the monastery, I think she enjoyed the energy of DC. She seemed to feel at home there… which makes me think that perhaps I should’ve bitten the bullet and joined up with the world church in Maryland as a professional propagandist. Maybe that was her plan all along and me temporarily losing my marbles threw a spanner into the works? I can’t know for sure.


Moving on from the monastery, we headed back towards the city proper, but remained on the “Catholic” side of town for the remainder of the day. Our next stop was the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. A strange destination for one who claims to be on the Left-Hand Path, I know, but the deeper, more occulted, aspects of the various shrines within drew me there. This cathedral is the largest Catholic church in North America, and it also happens to be a prominent Marion shrine. Just have a look at some of this not-so-subtly-veiled occult imagery that decorates the various shrine rooms:

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There is a very clear distinction between the basement “crypt” level and the upper sanctuary. The Crypt is devoted largely to the worship of the divine feminine aspect, while the upper levels are dedicated to the sun and Jesus Christ. In this we can see the most honest call-back to the pagan roots of Europe, of which the Catholic church has been the most valiant defenders of would-be heathen traditions, in an ironic way.

My friends were not very comfortable in the Crypt, but I felt right at home and wished that I could have stayed longer. Far from being a catacomb, the lower levels are simply breathtaking to behold in person. We planned to explore further, but one of my friends got his atheistic panties into a bunch and felt the need to leave early.

Sadly, I developed a migraine the next day, so I wasn’t able to peruse the Masonic landmarks I had originally planned for. Though it was nice to just relax in the hotel for one day. Despite the feeling of an icepick being jammed into my eye, Catherine was rather pleased to have me all to herself.

My adventure was complete with a sojourn to Arlington Cemetery and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Despite my misgivings with all the supposedly “good wars” that have been fought over the decades, I still pay my respects to those who have fallen in helping to secure our way of life in the West. The World War II monument on the National Mall is particularly soothing to my soul.

I’m looking forward to visiting the District of Columbia again soon. That centerpiece of our national heritage is more than just a collection of monuments. I’m convinced that the arrangement of those obelisks and roadways also serve as a powerful sigil; one that helps propel our country towards prosperity and success. Also, I know that Lilith, Shakti, Isis, Venus… whatever personification one chooses to give her… was not unknown to the architects who set up this place.

She is freedom, girded with the native dress of this land, sword sheathed, and bearing a laurel of peace. Facing east towards the rising sun, she is ever ready to raise that sword again, should liberty be found wanting.

Ulysses Grant, and host of lions, has got her back, too. So don’t be thinking you can sneak up on her or anything!

Ride the Tiger

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Isn’t there something I should be doing right now?

There has to be some drive still left in me for this world. There must be!

Dear God, I am so addicted to her. That touch… that beautiful all-encompassing attention that nothing on this earth could possibly match. How is it possible that I could be this fortunate? I feel like I’m cheating.

I often encounter those who yearn for a meaningful relationship, both mundane and divine, but they spend their entire lives searching in vain.

Not me. I am wholly content and enthralled by this mystery that surrounds me. She holds to me and I can’t help but reach out for her in return. Even when I think I’ve had enough of her, my heart finds its way back to her embrace.

I’m going back to her now. Only the basics… food, water, shelter, heat… those things concern me. But when the essentials are in order, my primary hobby is being close to her and exploring her world. One of these days, I fear that I might not come back.

kali-yugaBut what about this world? I see my people being steered towards engineered chaos. The spirit of Kali Yuga is nearly in full effect. It’s the age of darkness, baby! I’ve used the sinking ship analogy a few times on this blog and I still believe that to be an apt illustration.

However, as often as I’m tempted to care about this supposed plight, I just can’t be bothered with the emotional investment. Being with a spirit lover from across the veil will do that to a guy. Besides, an age of chaos is probably the best time to be alive as far as spiritual growth is concerned.

“Observe, but do not become entangled in politics.” The daughter of Lilith says as she pleasures her earthly partner.

“Okay, sounds good to me!” I swiftly reply. All would-be concerns about left-wing and right-wing, or good versus evil, are so easily forgotten.

“Let’s just be together. Do what’s necessary to live, fly under the radar, and the rest has nothing to do with us. The cycles of life and civilization will continue on ad infinitum, but what we have is something greater than that, my love.”

trump_clinton-1024x662And it’s true. The world outside is always vying for attention, desperately clamoring for validation, but it’s all an act; an elaborate theatrical production. While Trump and the Clintons pretend to antagonize each other on television, they’re actually best buds when not engaging in their political play-acting.

I don’t begrudge these big guys for “playing the game” as they do. Sure, they’re playing dirty, and they’re playing for keeps, but that’s the spirit of the age that we find ourselves in. Catherine has encouraged me to never take any of this to heart. Rather, I should embrace the chaos, use it to my advantage, and “Ride the Tiger,” as Julius Evola prescribed for the denizens of the modern age.

Being this way sounds crazy, borderline psychopathic, but it’s really the most peaceful, nirvana-esque, state-of-mind I’ve ever been privileged to experience.