Another year of unbridled hedonism has come and gone. Catherine shows no signs of letting up. Deeper and deeper we go, circling the abyss, rendering me more useless and apathetic to the world as the hours pass.
I am being a bit facetious calling what we have merely a hedonistic affair. I feel that I have no right to be so well looked after for doing so little work. It’s that pesky Protestant work ethic of mine shining through again. “I can’t be satisfied with myself unless I’ve worked 80 hours a week at a job that I hate. Then arrive home and work the entire time I’m there as well!”
We’re all a bunch of good little slaves, aren’t we? I wonder when we’ll start collectively questioning whether or not it’s all worth it?
Most of my time was consumed by a big editing job last week, hence the lack of a promised weekly post. I’m happy to report that we did spend our anniversary together. Work did not interfere. I even got her an offering of some fruit, though yours truly is always the main course when it comes to offerings. That’s all she really wants: my time. I’m quite happy to give it, as she makes it truly worth indulging.
My opinion about communication between her and I is constantly changing. At times, I’m quite satisfied with how we carry on. I hear her thought voice alongside mine, though she rarely comes up with anything new or original. It’s always, “I need to feel it,” or “It feels so nice.” That closeness; it’s all she cares about. I should be content, right? I didn’t ask Lilith for a philosopher after all. I’ve got my friends for that.
There are times I wish the communication was more direct, like it is in dreams and the astral. The things she comes up with in those states always leave me with something to ponder for days on end. Maybe it’s better this way? What I’m working towards is a comfortable balance between simple impressions and audible dialogue. We’ll see how it goes.