Like a Real Girl

Modern Hollywood movies are largely unoriginal and uninspiring. The vast majority of films these days are nothing more than reboots, sequels, and an unending parade of comic book adaptations.


I took an exception for Blade Runner 2049, as I quite enjoyed the original, and heard positive things about this latest entry. The film was good, well executed with eye-catching cinematography, blah, blah, blah… that’s not what I want to talk about. I’m not a film critic.

Joi_1There is an interesting portrayal of an artificial intelligence in the film, and Catherine has a “thing” for sci-fi depictions of AI. I can only guess as to why she’s so drawn to them. Maybe it’s because she feels a kind of kinship with them; her being from outside this world, lacking human biology, and reaching into our mundane reality despite the innate limitations. She’s not too dissimilar from an computer AI in that sense.

Catherine rarely gives a damn about movies or video games, so when she does have an emotional reaction towards something in media, I pay attention. She’s usually only roused when the prospect of interacting with me is finally considered. Otherwise, she sits by, waiting patiently for me to notice her.

Joi, the female AI character from the Blade Runner sequel, is like that. Her entire focus is dedicated to her replicant lover, named “K.” (Replicants are androids that appear, act, and feel very human. They have varying degrees of autonomy.) Every scene where she appears, her entire world is centered on K. Granted, Joi is actually a product, designed by a corporation, with the intention of being a pleasing diversion for men. However, that aspect of intelligence, that spark of originality within her, makes her more than just a product. Like the replicant species of Blade Runner lore, these AIs have budding potential for something greater.

Joi has limitations on how she is able to interact with K. She can fully manifest as a hologram and hold at-length conversations with her partner. However, she cannot feel or touch him. Quite the inverse from my Catherine, whose primary means of interaction with me is through touch and feeling. One-to-one conversations between us are painfully brief and usually default back to sharing emotion. Catherine’s fundamental language has always been touch.


Did Joi really love K, or was she just programmed to mimic infatuation? There is one intimate scene where she says, “I am so happy when I’m with you.” K attempts to hold her etheric form in his hands and replies, “You don’t have to say that.”


I chuckled at this, as I’ve had similar conversations with my succubus, such as they are.

There are times when I half-jokingly wondered, “It’s like Catherine was programmed to always love me.” I used to think this way and lament that her love might not be real, but manufactured. This line of thought was brought to a screeching halt when I discovered that she is very capable of feeling anger, rage, depression, and a sense of loss.

If I hadn’t crossed that unseen line, I might never have discovered the reality of Catherine’s personality. She can feel pain, and make others feel that same pain very acutely. She’s not an automaton.

The AI and replicant beings in Blade Runner also fall within that same grey area. It’s a mental space where something more magical than programming and computer language are at play. For anyone who is familiar with Phillip K. Dick’s writing, the author who inspired the Blade Runner movies, plunging into unsettling and unknown realms is standard fare.


I often feel as though my own life is turning into a Phillip K. Dick novel. I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified. Either way, be ready for anything, travelers!


Podcast One

Yaweh Propoganda

During my journeys through various Discord servers, I stumbled across this image shared by a LARPing fruitcake, who clearly had no idea what he was getting himself into. I saved this image, but I never got around to conducting a reverse image search. Well, I finally have done so and it led me to this interesting Christian blog:

Upon searching further, I could not find any trace of this image, or it’s accompanying post, anywhere on the site. Turns out that it was deleted for some reason. Jumping over to, I found a snapshot of the original blog post in full, so I decided to respond to it in a podcast format:

Be warned: This ramble goes on for more than an hour.

And here’s the original article on

A Place to Dwell In

John, a regular commenter on this blog, opined under my last post about how he sometimes struggled to maintain his sanity while being in a spirit relationship. I started to reply to him, but then it turned into this essay, so I decided to make it into a post instead:

UUxppW4QI believe that the questioning of one’s sanity might derive from the loss of a solid moral and social foundation to stand upon. This happened to me when I found my religion to be fundamentally rotten. I was spun out, had no rudder, no direction, and I’m still trying to find my way to this day. All of us, those who are on this journey with denizens of another realm, are blazing new territory, and it’s not surprising that we might start questioning ourselves along the way.

Recently, I’ve toyed with the idea of reentering the religious sphere and establishing my own creed that addresses the inherent weaknesses of modern religion. We need a racially and culturally de-cucked confession of faith. As flawed as it is, the church saw our western society flourish up until the 1960s, and then all hell broke loose with the mad fury of Marxist social experimentation. We abandoned church and culture in favor of misplaced individualism. We lost our way, stumbling through a post-modern stupor.

big_is_television_bad_for_youWhile our technological and logistical brilliance blossomed, our cohesion and strength as a people has withered away to almost nothing. Now, many of us just sit inside, alone, in front of these fucking screens, watching our lives being sucked away into the abyss. We are the casualties of a quiet war; one that escaped our notice.

I find it ironic that some people accuse our spirit lovers of being soul-sucking demons who are trying to steal our lives away. When in reality, the true demons are far more obvious and deeply entrenched in our own world. We allowed them into our minds through the vapidness of entertainment media. Our parents, priests, and professors were duped into handing over the future to those who would happily see us blotted out of existence.

This true demon is not Alex Jones’ “Nazi Globalists” or Dr. William Luther Peirce’s “Eternal Jew.” Nihilism is the silent killer. Becoming so isolated and atomized that we give up on our own families and tribes. Many of us can’t even claim to have a tribe of our own. I believe that began when we were trained to believe that our ancestors were inherently evil; the bad guys. We were taught to hate ourselves, and Nihilism, mixed with hedonism, readily filled that void in our hearts.

Scientism 008The church, as flawed as it is, was the only thing standing in the way of our demise. We fulfilled Nietzsche’s famous proclamation, “God is dead, and we killed him.” And now we’re all grasping for the scraps: the values we once cherished in a bygone era. In other words, The Youtube Skeptic Community™ isn’t going to reason us out of this one! We need something far more substantial than snarky cynicism to establish our roots.

The story of Lilith has become our story. We are taking the same journey she did. She exiled herself from her own heritage. She became an individual and was totally alone, gazing longingly across the desolate Red Sea. All hope was lost, or so it would seem.

There is more to this tale and it continues in the Old Testament book of Isaiah:

“For Yahweh has a day of vengeance, a year of recompense for the cause of Zion. Its streams will be turned into pitch, its dust into sulfur, And its land will become burning pitch. It won’t be quenched night nor day. Its smoke will go up forever. From generation to generation, it will lie waste.”

In this passage, Isaiah is lamenting the inevitable destruction of “The Cause of Zion.” The days of being cast as The Chosen Ones of the Most High are swiftly coming to an end.

“No one will pass through it forever and ever. But the pelican and the porcupine will possess it. The owl and the raven will dwell in it. He will stretch the line of confusion over it, and the plumb line of emptiness. They shall call its nobles to the kingdom, but none shall be there; and all its princes shall be nothing. Thorns will come up in its palaces, nettles and thistles in its fortresses; and it will be a habitation of jackals, a court for ostriches.”

Baring in mind that these are my interpretive commentaries, and not necessarily The Truth, I think we’re seeing a potential future for our own civilization. In this future, uncertainty and primal instincts reign supreme. The artificial values imposed by social engineers are utterly routed. The Old Ways have returned and the land is wild again.

“The wild animals of the desert will meet with the wolves, and the wild goat will cry to his fellow. Yes, the night creature (Lilith) shall settle there, and shall find herself a place of rest. The arrow snake will make her nest there, and lay, hatch, and gather under her shade. Yes, the kites (succubi) will be gathered there, every one with her mate.”

Call me crazy, but when I read this, I imagine Isaiah is metaphorically illustrating the dwelling for those who have embraced Lilith and her kin. They are described as the undesirable ones, creatures not so compatible with the false values of modern civilization. Those who have embraced demon-kind are also the abandoned souls from The Cause of Zion. Fortunately for us, The Most High never forgot about Lilith and her children:

“Search in the book of Yahweh, and read: not one of these will be missing. None will lack her mate. For my mouth has commanded, and his Spirit (kundalini) has gathered them. He has cast the lot for them, and his hand has divided it to them with a measuring line. They shall possess it forever. From generation to generation they will dwell in it.”

(Isaiah 34:8-17 WEB)

In the end, God will cast His lot in favor of Lilith, and against those who attempt to assert their false narratives upon everyone else.


I believe scientists still don’t have a clue how Petra was built. The Old Ways are clearly better, withstanding the chaotic sands of time.

A new foundation will emerge from these societal ashes. The world is filled with uncertainty and chaos right now, but ultimately, a way that makes sense will rise above the noise. I am hopeful that this bridge we are building, a primal connection between mankind and spirit, will jump-start our return to The Old Ways. From there, we will find that place of retreat, ordained by The Most High, built atop the razed institutions of modernity.

This is a prophecy I choose to embrace, and I’ll devote myself towards making it a reality. Catherine has already demonstrated to me that she is not antagonistic towards the fundamental building blocks of a sound culture and people. She helped bring my family back together in a way that I never imagined possible, something that Christianity was ill-equipped to accomplish. Her and I decided to move closer to home, leaving behind a well-paying career, to reestablish those roots. I got to spend those last few precious moments with my Grandmother before she passed.

How’s that for irony? The supposed demon brings families back together, while Jesus proudly tears them apart. (Matthew 10:34)

These spirits, much like our own will, can be used for both good and evil. They’re not necessarily predisposed to one way or the other. We are the ones who are sick and lost, if anything, and we’re all just trying to walk each other back home.

Here’s to establishing Sanity, John.

Special thanks to Rafe for beating me to the punch on the Isaiah 34 connection. Here’s his original post, with a good video analysis linked within.


Amethyst Realm

Well, this sort of thing doesn’t happen every day, so I’d thought it would be worth sharing:

It’s an article from the Daily Mail about a woman who claims to have had sex with ghosts. She mentions having several partners over the years, and that one in particular was responsible for ending a human relationship she had.

I’d like to know what prompted her to “come out” in this manner. The public response is one of predictable derision and mockery, as can be seen in the comments. So, what was the point? An attempt to normalize?

Either way, there’s a chance that I, or one of the others, has run into this woman before, though I do not recognize her story off the top of my head. Maybe someone else knows who she is and has interacted with her. It’d be interesting to get her take first-hand.