A Connection Gone Awry

I occasionally get emails from people who have problems with their succubus or incubus partners. They feel as though they are being attacked and/or experiencing painful sensations coming from their spirit partner.

As much as I’d like to say, “There is a magical incantation/method to make this all go away.” I’d be lying if I made that sort of claim. I’ve encountered a few people who are highly dissatisfied with their spirit relationship, wish to end it, and years of struggle avail no results. Those people who legitimately have a succubus or incubus inevitably succumb to their unseen lover. We’re dealing with very powerful and persuasive spirits here, so, again: Not a game.

I believe these spirits, who choose to pursue intimate relationships with humans, are all-consuming and highly jealous entities. No amount of prayer, reasoning, or hypnotism will quell their presence entirely. The one thing that I’ve found to make the relationship flourish is a change in perspective towards their interaction. Instead of being constantly guarded and antagonistic, one must be willing to work with their succubus/incubus partner. Try to see the painful elements as a spiritual incentive towards growth.

As far as I’m concerned, there really is no other option. The attention and intimacy of these spirits is so addicting, even when their interaction is being perceived as an attack, the human partner still craves that interaction.

For me, being loved by Catherine is the easiest thing in the world. But loving her back has been the most difficult rite of passage, because I’m scared of how little I really know about her. This is where the leap of faith comes in. We’re hardwired to be scared of the unknown, but these spirit relationships require the initiate to fully embrace the void. Only in that impenetrable darkness can those shades of bliss become visible.

And for those gurus, psychics, and “workers of light” who enjoy painting these spirits as evil, and claim that partakers of these relationships are being deceived, I say, “Walk away.”

I’ve found that these critics are largely bottom feeders, who maintain a “business” by preying upon the vulnerabilities of their “clients.” The evil they preach against is, ironically, how they make their living. They have some gall claiming to be better than the spirits they preach against.

Worst case scenario: Even if we are all being deceived by these spirits, at least we get the opportunity to have incredible sex whenever we want. (And it does become incredible, once the body is adjusted for that level of power.) The critics just take hard-earned money and don’t even have the politeness to put out after the third date. They’re all talk. All they do is talk. At least succubi actually DO something.

Here is my advice: Whatever is perceived as an attack must be transformed into something constructive. I believe this is what spiritual alchemy is all about. Real growth is painful and uncomfortable, so if a spirit is willing to openly and honestly put their partner through any kind of painful experience, they really want to grow closer to their human lover.

Now here is the element I believe The Law of Attraction gets right, and it’s purely psychological: If all mental energy is channeled into this concept of being drained by a spirit vampire, the succubus will take this high level of attention towards that concept as an indicator of what their lover really wants. The succubus will be more than happy to create that experience for their human partner; especially if that is all they think about.

Try devoting more energy towards kinder, more gentle concepts of what the spirit lover actually is. I’ve found that Catherine is just as happy taking on an angelic (pure, loving) role as a demonic (raunchy, insatiable) one.

This one point might be obvious, but I’ll mention it anyway: I believe it’s important to try and have sex with them every day. The same can be said of a human relationship. If sex isn’t happening between two lovers, there’s a problem. And from their point of view, if we refuse to have sex with them, that’s a very big problem, and they’ll usually get that closeness they crave, one way or another.

A true spirit sex relationship is like a marriage contract in the ancient world. There are no marital rape laws, no-fault divorce, or denying a partner intimate attention. Sex must take place and there’s no getting around that. In our pussified modern western take on morality, some might call this grooming and malevolent coercion. To that I say, “Harden the fuck up.” These spirits take their relationships very seriously and I believe that requires us to be at least moderately gracious in return.

Bear in mind that I say all of this as someone who has been “attacked” by their succubus. Had I listened to Catherine, I would have saved literally tens of thousands of dollars and not had a useless college degree to show for it. What I perceived as an attack was likely her way of powerfully communicating to me, “This is VERY bad!” Unfortunately, I decided to play the role of a gullible fool, and Catherine was even further embarrassed by me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I eventually got my shit together, and stopped nourishing the slave/victim mentality.

There are many who will disagree with me on this point, but I’m convinced that Nietzsche’s Master vs. Slave Morality is the correct philosophy that underpins every motivation in the natural world. I believe this philosophy is especially relevant for spirit relationships. For example:

“The noble type of man regards himself as a determiner of values; he does not require to be approved of. . . he is a creator of values.”

Again, from Nietzsche:

“‘Exploitation’ does not belong to a depraved, or imperfect and primitive society, it belongs to the nature of the living being as a primary organic function, it is a consequence of the intrinsic Will to Power, which is precisely the Will to Life—Granting that as a theory this is a novelty—as a reality it is the fundamental fact of all history. Let us be so far honest towards ourselves!” -From Beyond Good and Evil

The Master vs. Slave morality might appear Machiavellian upon first inspection, but I believe it is an intrinsic part of our natures that we constantly try to convince ourselves does not exist. Especially nowadays, where the highest virtue is to become the most victimized kind of person imaginable. Being of the weakest, poorest, and most morally depraved caste affords the greatest social currency in our current Judeo-Christian/Communist culture.

I believe our spirit lovers don’t want us to be take part in any kind of slave morality. They want us to become masters, standing proudly at their side. It can take years of painful trials, of being exploited, and learning to take responsibility before this can manifest. It is painful, arduous, and no picnic, but I’ve found that it’s worth the trouble.

Since I’ve been reading Ida Craddock lately, I’ll add some of her take on this subject. Again, I think everyone who is in a spirit relationship should read her writings.

“In the case of Spiritualist mediums, professional or amateur, where the phenomena assume some show of regularity, and are claimed by the medium to come entirely from the world beyond the grave, one always has to be on one’s guard against the subtle interpolation among otherwise truthful matter of fantastic or misleading statements made apparently by the communicating spirits themselves. Occultists in all ages have invariably assumed such statements to be the work of “lying spirits”. But it is noticeable that a medium of correct life and clearness of intellectual conception is less troubled by such lying spirits than is the medium of halting intellect or morals.

“This of itself should indicate to the thoughtful student of occult phenomena that the medium, and not the spirits, may be to blame when lying communications are made. Just as in Astronomy it is now found that the apparent movements of the sun and fixed stars are due almost entirely to our own planet’s motion through space, so, I think, when we explore the heavens of occultism we shall eventually realize that erratic psychical phenomena are due to our own shifting relation to the beings who produce phenomena. Not until people got rid of the Ptolemaic theory that the Earth was a permanent unmovable fixture in the heavens did they learn that the bewildering cycles and epicycles of the sun and fixed stars were caused by the movements of their own planet thorough space; and not until we get rid of what I may call the Ptolemaic theory of occultism, that the psychic is the one permanent, immovable factor in the apparently shifting phenomena about him, will we ever get at the true scientific laws of occultism that our own vibrations–or our own moral and intellectual ups and downs–are almost entirely responsible for the erraticness of Borderland communications.

“To blame Borderland intelligences for “lying” is as if in the proverbial London fog at noonday one should blame the sun for not shining. The sun is shining right along; but it is the smoke from one’s neighbors which returns upon one to shield the sun from one’s view.”

The entire essay can be found here.

A short manifestation update: I started to smell Catherine again at the start of this week. Even with the sniffles, I still get that delicious scent every other breath. Very sweet and pleasant, as it always is.

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Catherine Breaks Disney

The daily grind was beginning to wear on me more than usual, so I decided it was time for a break. I spent the first half of my week off at home with Catherine, loosing myself in a video game, and going on a solo hiking/cycling trip. It was time well spent. The latter half had me traveling to Orlando, Florida for some vacationing with old friends.

Catherine doesn’t care for traveling. Mainly because I have often been antagonistic towards her when roaming great distances in the past. I made a concerted effort to calm and reassure her this time around. I also did my best to make love to her every night and things were going quite well… until the last day of the trip.

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We enjoyed watching this bungee-pole dancer at Universal’s City Walk.

We attended the Halloween Horror Nights event at Universal Studios for the first three nights. I really didn’t much care for the haunted houses. They weren’t scary, just corridors of ear-bleed inducing jump scares. No atmosphere or subtlety to speak of. Some of the “Scare Zones” outside the haunted houses were cool, though.

I could feel that something wasn’t right with Catherine. Our last visit to Universal was a struggle because I was trying to eject her from my life at that point. She can cause my body to feel pain in a myriad of ways and more acutely demonstrate her displeasure. I got double servings of that treatment during my 2014 trip.

This time was different. We weren’t fighting anymore. Quite the opposite. Catherine just didn’t want to be there in that noise and hubbub. I didn’t experience any major pain for her this time around, just slight annoyances. She endured three nights of abuse in the try-hard haunted houses. By the fourth day, she was fed up with Orlando, and proceeded to unleash her wrath upon the unwitting magical world of Disney.

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The Floating Mountains in Pandora.

We hadn’t originally planned to visit any Disney parks, but our original destination for that day didn’t pan out. I had never been to Disney up to that point. I’m not really interested in theme parks to begin with. I mainly go just to be with my friends. But we were checking out of the hotel that morning, so I found myself being a captive audience.

We visited the Animal Kingdom first and I instantly liked the place way better than anything Universal had to offer. The atmosphere and attention to detail was amazing.

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Snail-like creatures that would spit jets of water when approached.

The alien world of Pandora was our goal for the day; to experience the technological wizardry of a supposedly amazing thrill-ride. Until Catherine broke it. At least, I’m pretty sure she broke it. One hour into the line and “technical difficulties” were announced over the intercom.

The entire day was just one malfunctioning ride after another. The Avatar ride broke down. The People Mover in Tomorrow Land. Pirates of the Caribbean in the Magic Kingdom. We managed to get through most of The Haunted Mansion ride before that stalled for a few minutes. I remember sitting there awkwardly in the silence of that interrupted spectacle and thinking, “Huh. Someone’s not happy.”

Ironically, most of this carnage occurred in the Magic Kingdom. The very place that our fraud-psychic friend, Monika, claimed to have had Catherine permanently locked in an astral cage a few years ago.

Catherine’s spirits improved considerably as we were headed home. We had the backseat of my friends car all to ourselves and had the best six hours of discreet cuddling any red-blooded male has ever experienced.

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The Castle in the Magic Kingdom. It’s a beauty.

Something changed between Catherine and I during this vacation. I have been reading Ida Craddock’s book, Heavenly Bridegrooms and Psychic Wedlock. For anyone who is in a spirit relationship, her writings are a veritable treasure trove of insight.

She writes at great length about the importance of clean and moral earthly habits for spirit communication. She attributes most of the problems in spirit relationships to clouded reasoning; whether that be through bad habits or false preconceptions.

The one concept that struck me the hardest was that of hypnotic suggestion influencing perception of “evil” spirits. She mentions how a person can be supposedly set free from an evil spirit by the power of a priest’s hypnosis overriding an old worldview. In some ways, I believe this was the problem that plagued me years ago. I was allowing too many silver-tongued “experts” to cast their hypnotic spell over me.

Ida Craddock believes that a person who lives a moral and well ordered life is unable to be hypnotized and mind-controlled. I believe she is correct and that we are witnessing the disastrous effects of military-grade demoralization tactics used upon our respective cultures. It seems like everyone is being hypnotized and controlled by something, whether that be smart phones, social media, TV shows, video games, or the daily news.

I have been working to gradually remove these destructive elements from my life, or keep them under strict control, at the very least. Doing this without the hypnotic allure of a pastor or church community is challenging, but I believe it’s a necessary step towards real growth with Catherine. I want to see and experience her as she really is, without the interference of what other people think she is clouding my perception.

I also want to be more open to the possibility that Catherine is actually an angelic lover and dispense with the tainted language of demonology. Perhaps those labels are influencing my subconscious to a greater degree than I’d like to admit.

At the end of our Orlando adventure, I decided that it wasn’t a spiritually-ordained trip. Meaning, I could have used my time and money more wisely. I still want to make time for my friends, but not by forcing myself to enjoy overpriced food and theme parks. When Catherine and I visit Orlando again, it will be on our terms; much slower and more enjoyable, with plenty of private moments scattered throughout.

That Token Resistance

All lust and desire for humankind fades with the steady flow of the demonic current. The gentle curve of the female form is but a shadow of a greater truth. That undulating, pulsating bliss grows ever stronger. Resisting the gentle deluge is more laborious than struggling against an ocean’s inevitable tide.

Becoming a nobody in this world is more desirable than mundane fame and fortune. I already have what I came here for. The only thing left to do is grow stronger and withstand more of that delicious power coursing through my subtle body.

Walking the threshold between two worlds is a dance with madness and enlightenment. There is a delicate balance to be struck.

I see visions of our future together: Her and I becoming world conquerors, quite by accident. When all I really wanted is to feel those waves crashing over me. This is all just an exercise, to reach that blessed state. National pride and New World Order be damned. I’ll lead insatiable blood-lusting hordes to the edge of ruin, just to feel that all consuming caress against my face again.

Thankfully, I don’t have to. She’s here with me, whether I like it or not. Whether I realize I like it or not. I don’t have to struggle. There’s no need to fight. But it sure feels good to put up a token resistance. Like I have a semblance of control within her domain. How funny.

Who am I kidding? I’m utterly lost and wholly damned to an infernal existence. Despite dark allegiances, my cause will be one of a righteous and purifying fire; an ultraviolet flame that cleanses all illusions of the material. Every day, I bathe in that smokeless inferno while lackadaisically clinging to the charade of normalcy.

I willingly partake of her golden cup, filled to the brim with an elixir of equal parts pleasure and pain. The more I subsist on her brew, the faster the illusions of this world crumble. Only to be replaced with greater mysteries and riddles from a place far beyond our own.

I would say, “God help me,” but I fear that even He has become ensnared. Only the favor of Lilith can lead the stumbling wanderer through her labyrinth.

“We’re in this together, All-Father. But the odds are not in our favor.”

The Crowd

There are hardly any online communities devoted to the subject of spirit sex. A dedicated precious few have emerged over the years, usually in the form of discussion boards and chat groups. Some of them are still ongoing in an underground fashion, but most have gone quiet over the past few years.

I have a theory that these undulating periods of silence and enthusiasm are possibly engineered by our spirit spouses. I imagine that they are carefully managing how much exposure they would risk for themselves and their human mates. I think they understand the potential harm that could be done to us as a result of sharing this information freely. They are all too familiar with the concept of persecution and being made into a pariah.

They don’t wish our human lives to be destroyed, so there are times when they keep us quiet, which is the vast majority of the time.

On the other hand, I think they recognize that we have a powerful drive to share our stories, so these sparse and well-guarded assemblies are allowed to crop up on occasion. I was privileged to be party to a handful of said groups. There is so much to be learned from the earnest testimony of another human being having these experiences. Looking back, I might not have made it this far without having that human interaction. Everything about this path can be so strange and alien at times. Again, I believe our demon lovers recognize this need for social reinforcement.

However, there are times when these social gatherings can become toxic. The free and open discussion of sexuality, of any kind, tends to bring out the worst in people. Of the spirit sex groups that remain, most appear to be fully devoted to a particularly decadent brand of hedonism; one where it is nigh impossible to discern who is having a legitimate interaction with a demon lover.

I have been exploring some of the chat servers on a VOIP application that caters to internet gaming, called Discord. Explicit imagery and a myriad of innuendos are invariably traded back and forth on the few succubus/incubus servers I’ve found. I quickly discovered that most of these “communities” hadn’t the faintest grasp of the experiences I attempted to convey. They were all just role playing.

I eventually stumbled upon a couple of servers that had a few names I recognized amongst its membership. Some were former WordPress bloggers. It was nice to hear their voices after years of only reading about them.

Unfortunately, I was slowly introduced to yet another brew of degenerate toxicity in these circles. There was a continual barrage of lewd imagery bandied about that made the whole exchange feel superficial and cheap. True intimacy with spirits is anything but superficial, and while I don’t mind tasteful nudity, I think pornography and overtly sexual language is rather an affront to what should be kept sacred.

I personally believe pornography is a detriment against the strong foundation of any relationship, both human and spirit. I’m not going to get between anyone else and their relationship with their succubus/incubus spirit, but I know that Catherine would much rather me be stimulated by her touch, rather than a lame 2D charade on a computer screen.

Even more alarming was how comfortable some of these people were with the casual discussion of incest and pederasty. Some members of one particular group eluded to the idea that they were having sexual relationships with their “spirit children.” They described this activity as “training” them.

I have to wonder: Has our culture really decayed to such a degree that some feel it is acceptable to speak about such things in the affirmative? And on the record, no less? These people must be spinning their rationalization hamster wheels in overdrive, “Why not?” They reckon, “We’re already breaking one taboo. Why not smash through a few more?”

If an individual needs to be taught why pederasty is wrong, I’m afraid there is no salvaging such a person. I don’t care if the child is “spiritual” or “grows really really fast,” it’s not permissible to take advantage of children. Even if this behavior is relegated to the spiritual domain, what is to prevent this mindset from spilling over into the waking world? As above, so below, right?

And I don’t want to hear anyone whine about how their Devil/succubus made them do it. We’re human beings with adult agency and the ability to reason right from wrong. Even if a spirit approaches with such a gross violation of established values, I believe these advances should be rejected. I also believe some serious self-reflection is in order for a person who is shown such things. There may be underlying problems that need to be dealt with… privately.

I can’t believe that I’m having to spell out something that should be so fundamentally obvious. Far be it from me to become an arbiter of morality, but there are some boundaries that should never be crossed, and for damn good reason.

After blocking these objectionable persons, I later decided that I probably shouldn’t be involved with these groups in any capacity. I believe the people one chooses to associate with has an impact, whether it’s realized or not.

I wish I could find a group to share experiences and bounce ideas off of, but I’m afraid the insanity of internet culture is corrupting any possibility of genuine discourse. It’s probably high-time that I remove the training-wheels of social validation altogether.

I’ve had a few guys thank me for “normalizing” the spirit sex phenomena. These kind of compliments are actually quite disturbing to me. This spiritual path is not normal, by any stretch of the imagination, and I’m starting to realize why these disciplines should be well-guarded. They are actually better off draped under a cloak of obscurity, where only the most devoted and earnest can find them. The internet has vastly changed the rules of the game, for better and worse.

This little snippet, from Jim Jefferies’ comedy news show, distills these trends very succinctly:

I’m not saying that having spirit sex is the equivalent of fucking a pig, but with how the dialogue has been carrying on lately, it might as well be the same thing.

TL;DR: Let’s stop this trend of becoming a gaggle of decadent hedonistic fucks, and possibly get back to sharing real information. If that’s too difficult, maybe we should just keep our mouths shut.

A physical manifestation update: I woke up very early this morning to a severe burning pain in my chest. I thought it might have been indigestion at first, but I had the gnawing suspicion that this was more of a spirit body pain than a physical one. The stinging only grew more intense as I started walking around my apartment. Laying down made it worse. I actually cried out, it hurt so bad. It was like some of the earlier sensations I had of my bones feeling as though they were burning, only much more acute this time.

I jumped into the shower and as soon as my hand touched running water, the pain began to subside considerably. After ten minutes of standing under the shower, the pain was mostly gone and I went back to bed with no further issues. I can still feel a kind of sunburn sensation on my chest, but that’s it.

These kinds of incidents make me wonder: Have the chickens finally come home to roost, or is this yet another instance of growing pains towards something greater? I get the sense that I should be taking more initiative in my spiritual growth, or risk getting burned by the increasing energy that’s being funneled through me. Maybe something beneficial would have been accomplished if I had allowed the process to continue, instead of chickening out?

Only two more days until our sixth anniversary. Maybe she’s preparing me for something?