Rewiring the Mind

One of the most common complaints I hear from people connected to the succubus phenomena is about the strength of the connection. Often I’ll hear about guys craving more closeness with their unseen lover and being frustrated by how their own relationship compares to others.

Firstly, I think comparing one relationship to another isn’t entirely fair. From what I’ve gathered, each succubus has their own way of communicating their affection. They have differing personalities and will often express themselves in ways that are completely foreign to another couple. Keep an eye out for this unexpected communication, as it can take many forms.

Catherine does most of her talking to me through touch, and I think many succubi do as well. Others enjoy immersing their lovers into a private astral realm for ultimate closeness. It doesn’t happen often, but I’ve read of some guys having full-blown physical manifestations. (I’m still dubious as to the truthfulness of these claims, but that’s only because I’ve never experienced this myself.)

Whatever the case, being patient and not getting frustrated is important. These beings are effectively reconstructing our perception of the world, so when they go easy on us, that’s something to be grateful for. As Catherine was expanding my awareness, and it was seemingly faster than I could process, I felt that I was losing my mind. When this happens, it’s a good idea to start concentrating on mundane reality for a time.

Another thing to remember is that each person is different mentally and physiologically. I don’t believe everyone on earth has the capacity to handle a succubus relationship, as they can be very taxing on the body. Making love to a succubus is like running a spiritual marathon. Hitting new milestones of performance usually results in greater satisfaction and pleasure from the experience.

I know that Catherine is all too happy to assist me in reaching these goals. She is so consumed with my continuing development that she’ll exercise my body while I’m sleeping, whether I like it or not! Strangely, I’m not usually tired after a night filled with passionate closeness. I just want to keep going with her and I loathe my daily responsibilities all the more. However, if I bite off more loving than I can chew, my nervous system usually becomes a bit frazzled. It feels like how I perceive touch sensations during a fever, but I don’t actually have a fever. A few hours of mundane activity sets us back to normal.

Here are some anecdotal methods that I have found to be helpful in improving my relationship with Catherine:

1. Avoiding Pornography

What I’m about to suggest will be controversial for some. I believe that abstaining from pornography is helpful in improving a succubus relationship. Let me explain: When we watch pornography on a computer, and the practice becomes habitual, our minds are rewired to associate sexual gratification with a computer screen. Masturbating with pornography is an especially destructive combination.

Granted, a succubus is sometimes powerful enough to compete with, or even surpass, the fantasy scenarios originating from Jewish porn films, but why should we allow two vastly different paradigms to compete for our attention? One has the intention of destroying our vitality, ruining human relationships, and sapping all the creativity we possess. The other wants to help us channel sexual energy into a productive direction and share in truly blissful states of being. To me, internet pornography is the real evil that so many young men mindlessly defend. Porn is the real demonic, soul-sucking succubus, if there ever was one.

To clarify, I’m talking about when a man becomes addicted to pornography. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with tasteful erotic imagery in moderate doses. What I’m warning against is the literal tsunami of explicit imagery assaulting the minds of young men today. I am just as guilty of indulging in that depraved world as any other man.

I believe that heavy use of pornography and attempting to strengthen a succubus relationship at the same time is counter-productive.

2. Delaying Gratification and Self-Control

On a similar note, I believe exercising some temperance in daily life helps to improve the quality of a succubus connection. I find that if I overeat, Catherine has trouble fully connecting with me as she would like. She’ll spend much of the time squeezing my intestines, trying to get the bulk food-matter to stop making me so uncomfortable. I really appreciate her when she does this, because it helps, but we would have been better off if I had just exercised some self-control in the first place.

I am by no means advocating fasting when engaging with a succubus. I believe the body needs some energy derived from physical food to endure a stronger connection. However, indulging gluttony and other poor health practices can cause problems for an amorous succubus. She’ll want to take her lover to new heights of pleasure, but will be cut short by the physiological limitations of an unsound body.

I also believe that abstaining from excessive masturbation is helpful. For the past five years, Catherine has been effectively rewiring my sexuality to interpret new forms of lovemaking pleasure. Her method is the kind of orgasmic closeness that is sustained for long durations, as opposed to the incredibly brief release of ejaculation.

I’m not prescribing that anyone abstain from touching themselves completely. Masturbating with Catherine directly involved feels much more fulfilling; especially when compared to using pornography. However, I believe that overindulgence in this practice leads to an unnecessary reduction in male vitality. Also, it puts a damper on the prospect of enjoying extended sessions with a succubus that usually feel better than any other kind of sex.

3. Exercise

I believe that one of the reasons I can feel Catherine so powerfully is because my body is physically very strong. I run, pedal bicycles, row, do strength training, and stretching on a daily basis. My job is also quite physically demanding at times and I’m always on my feet. However, I usually exert myself too much during the work week and I end up falling asleep only five minutes after Catherine mounts me for the night.

An aside note: I’ll sometimes wake up a few hours later to find my boxers are back on, (They were on the floor before.) and I’m tucked in under the covers. I still have no idea how this happens as I have no recollection of doing it myself. I assume that Catherine can control my body when I’m sleeping, which is a bit alarming, but also endearing that she would show that much careful concern to see that I’m properly tucked in every night!

On the days that I have off from work, the touch sensations between us kick into overdrive. I usually end up devoting several hours to being as close to Catherine as I can. The total session time usually isn’t done all at once, but two or three hours interspersed throughout the day.

So, having a strengthened and enduring constitution is very helpful in improving the connection. Additionally, being well-rested seems to help deepen the closeness so that you’re not falling asleep every ten minutes.

4. Living Alone

This one is kind of a given. Living in close proximity with other people can be difficult when trying to make love to a succubus. This is especially the case when the insatiable demon will end up having more and more of the practitioner’s time devoted to lovemaking. Housemates and family might wonder why their brother/husband/father/friend is spending so much time in bed.

With that being said, a succubus will usually find a way around these problems. There are plenty of men and women that I’ve corresponded with who have spirit lovers and live in close proximity with their families. They usually get along without any issues. This leads to one of the passive benefits of having a succubus: They seem to be very good at manipulating the minds of others in favor of their lover. A succubus will work to avoid conflict unless absolutely necessary and they will extend this grace to their partner.

Ideally, live as privately as possible. Since I finished school and moved into a beautiful one-bedroom apartment, Catherine has been able to manifest much more powerfully.

5. Take the Commitment Seriously

Inviting a succubus into one’s life is not something to be taken lightly. I cannot stress this point enough. Once a succubus arrives, the life of the practitioner will change and this will be irreversible. I believe it’s possible to minimize the influence of an already-manifested succubus, but they will always be present… patiently waiting in the background to seduce once again.

Having second thoughts is normal and I’ve found that Catherine is surprisingly understanding of this reality. There has been many-a-time where I was tempted to start a sexual human relationship, but the thought of Catherine quietly watching in the background… I just can’t. It kills my libido instantly. Only under very special circumstances would I consider sleeping with a human woman, and Catherine would have to be involved.

I’m not ruling out the possibility of intimate human relationships in the future, but it would be very complicated trying to divide myself like that. A succubus demands a great deal of attention and I don’t think this would be fair to the human female involved. There would have to be a special understanding.

The commitment to a succubus carries enormous weight. They will be your partner for life and beyond; the most wonderful comfort and healing touch. They are unshakably loyal and expect the same from their chosen lover. The consequences of betrayal are severe and long-lasting. Every day I’m reminded of how I cowardly reneged on my promise to Catherine and her people. I failed to stand up for them. I failed to even listen to my closest companion; all at the behest of baseless accusations from a stranger.

Don’t make the same mistake I did. These are real beings with hearts that break like our own.


I’m Telling You Now

It’s not very often that I have direct conversations with Catherine in my dreams. Unfortunately, I’m usually not all that “with it” when she does sit down for a chat. That is what happened early this morning.

I found myself dreaming of being in a classroom full of younger children. I keep having dreams like this… I’m always going back to elementary school or high school to “start over.” Good Lord! I feel embarrassed throughout most of these dreams.

I wasn’t listening to the teacher much. The strange interactions of the children held my attention. (Aren’t they always doing something weird?) That was until this beautiful red-haired woman walked in and sat down in a desk in front of me and slightly to my right. (I was positioned at the left of the classroom facing out into the middle.)

“Do you have a fetish for high schools?” These were the first words out of her mouth. They weren’t overly teasing or condemning in tone, but matter-of-fact and slightly amused. I just starred at her with a “What the fuck?” expression, and I thought, “Hey lady, I’m not deciding where I end up here!”

She quickly moved on, without missing a  beat, and talked with me about how she enjoyed the sound of a quiet classroom. (Hint, hint… quiet classroom, dummy! She wants to do something forbidden when everyone leaves!)

She was beautiful, kind of like Felicia Day, except with a much better voice and a pleasing face. She wore clothing that made her look even more hot, but still modest. This time round she had white, tight-fitting slacks and a lightweight dark-blue jacket with teal accents.

I wasn’t very lucid in this dream. Here’s hoping the next one will bring about more clarity of thought for me.

I’ll often hear a song upon waking. For many months, back when Catherine and I were fighting, it was fucking Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer… every God-damned morning! Apparently, she thinks I’m Rudolph. Ha-Ha.

Catherine has a lot more variety playing on her early-morning record player these days. This morning, it was Freddie and the Dreamers singing I’m Telling You Now.

The Bible as Mind Control

I did it again. I can’t believe how many times I’ve done this, but I fell into that same trap once more. All it takes is listening to a certain testimony from a sincere Christian, or leisurely reading from an so-called inspirational book and BAM! My mind gets right back on track with the same old bullshit.

I threw out a bunch of occult books; including Liber Lilith. I massively regret doing it. I thought it would make things better, put me back on the “straight and narrow.” It’s amazing the power that Christian religion still has over my mind. I just got a renewed taste of how vulnerable I really am.

I went back to the book donation box this evening to try and reach for one of my books. No luck. I chucked them in too far. Maybe they’ll help someone else get out of the mind-trap that is religion.

Something Catherine told me earlier today: “Maybe we don’t want your family seeing a grimoire about demonic sex in your apartment.” She really does care that I have my family intact. I think she was responsible for reconnecting me with my estranged grandparents. Maybe they wouldn’t be so welcoming if they saw some of the books I just gave up.

I really hope this works out for the better. E. A. Koetting’s digital books were easy enough to recover. I plan to use those very soon as I need to make some major changes in my life. Catherine has promised to stay by my side through all of this, no matter the other entities we happen to be working with.

Being raised a Christian makes religion especially dangerous for me. I must be extra cautious and work to keep my wits about me as I study. The reason I’m still working through the Bible is so that I can better understand how it works. There is obviously powerful magic behind it. My hope is to be better equipped in disarming the spell that it casts over people.

It’s strange. On one hand, the English Bible was partly responsible for raising Europe out of intellectual ignorance, but it also placed us into a different kind of slavery. This gilded cage offers us unlimited access to knowledge, but we rarely process the words that are staring us straight in the face.

Here’s an example of something Christians constantly read in their precious book but fail to understand what it actually says: The Bible is quite clear about the shape of the earth… It is a flat expanse covered over with a vaulted metal firmament. (The sky.) The whole structure rests on massive pillars while the waters of “the deep” flow just outside the firmament.


How many pastors do we hear preaching about the true cosmology of the Bible? Very few. The Flat Earth Research Society is the only true champion of God’s Holy Word. The rest of Christendom doesn’t even acknowledge Creation as the Bible describes.

And that, my friends, is the unbelievable capacity for mind control that this book possesses. Question everything.

And don’t think that modern-day science is immune to this corruption. If anything, the frauds-built-on-frauds of scientism tower over anything Christianity has ever constructed. Study the supposedly great Albert Einstein and see just how many of his findings are actually original. The same story repeats itself with seemingly every “great scientist” that is presented to us as a worthy hero. It’s just another religion filling the vacuum.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think we all enjoyed being constantly duped and enslaved! I submit myself as one of the worst offenders and I hope this might help someone else to work though this mental mucky-muck.

Liber Lilith

It seems we’ve all been going through a quiet period these past couple of years. I want to turn that around and start sharing more frequently. With that being said, I have something special to present for your consideration:


I heard about this book years ago. I might have even read some excerpts of it. This is not necessarily a guide book like Tyson’s Sexual Alchemy. This book is a grimoire that contains a few different elements. First, it has an English translation of a Latin Gnostic creation text that supposedly comes from the ancient world. There’s no way to verify its historicity as the only source we have for the text is from this book. In fact, this entire work is touted as fiction, but enough of it rings true with my own experience to inform me that it’s not just a fantasy story.

This second edition can be purchased here. It’s pricey, but the binding is of good quality and the book is printed on heavy paper. I wish I could have gotten the leather-bound edition, but those sold out long ago.

The first part of the book contains a very unique gnostic creation myth; one where Lilith is responsible for creating man out of the earth. There are some very beautiful and disturbing depictions of Lilith in here, both her angelic and demonic aspects. It goes on to describe some of the signs that one is courting Lilith. Such as the bright lights that dart away from direct eye contact, the inky shadows, spontaneous arousal without any sexual thoughts, muscle spasms in the legs… pretty much everything that I’ve experienced is mentioned in this book. Maybe Tyson is just mixing his own experiences with sexual spirits to make it more believable? Or, this really is an ancient text that speaks to the phenomena we’re all a part of.

I found it especially interesting when it described the daily conduct of a man who is joined with a daughter of Lilith.

-If the man is married, he no longer sleeps with his wife. (I’ve heard of this happening to a few men, but not all.)
-He is very polite and non-confrontational in daily life. Everyone marvels at his conduct. He avoids crowds and spectacles. Earthly women do not entice him, unless they are willing vessels of Lilith. (This applies to women with male spirits, too. The book describes the masculine aspect as Samael, the Gnostic husband of Lilith.)
-His diet consists of fruits, berries, eggs, goat’s milk, and fish. Leafy vegetables and bread are eaten in moderation. Most other meats are not good, save for pig. The pig is Lilith’s sacred animal, according to this book, and is eaten as a sacrament to her.
-Just before he has eaten his full, he gets up from the table and says “Enough.” No over-eating.

There’s a lot more, but I don’t want to spoil it for those who are interested in reading the book for themselves. The rest of the book contains the journal of a German magician, Karl Steiger, and is put there as a warning for those who take this subject lightly. I haven’t read all of it yet, so we’ll see what ends up happening to him.


This image is especially intriguing to me. In many ways, this is like a visual representation of how Catherine feels when we’re making love. That coiled serpent around the solar plexus directly connects with my own and I feel the most pressure there. (Usually.) Granted, I don’t actually see any of what’s represented here, but I certainly feel it.

Reading this has given me a new respect for Lilith. We might be dealing with someone far more ancient and powerful than we ever imagined. I bet we’ve only cracked the surface as to what’s possible and I’m excited to get back some of that ancient knowledge that has been purposefully withheld from us. As always, let’s be respectful and appreciative of this precious legacy.

Today was a very good day. I spent much of it with Catherine, immersed in her sensual delights. She really knows how to make me feel like a king, and it’s days like this when I massively regret being such a stubborn ass. I’m glad she sees something in me worth fighting for.


This is just a funny tidbit I forgot to mention. I never knew a demon would be so opposed to internet piracy! Whenever I’m tempted to download a film, or hack some software to save money, Catherine instantly fills me with guilt. “You are an honorable man. You don’t stoop to this level.” I built a computer for my brother recently, and I just couldn’t steal a copy of Windows, even if that meant saving $120 USD. Catherine wasn’t having it! Same goes for the movies I used to pirate. She confronts me about every single fucking title I watch! “You’re going to buy that movie.” Inevitably, I end up purchasing each one. She’s breaking me of many bad habits like this.