As the months went on, my succubus gradually increased the pleasurable sensations during our sessions. She told me that it wasn’t healthy to put too much energy into me; like feeding 1000 volts into a 12 volt system. Despite my begging for her to be closer to me, she carefully, patiently, and loving exercised my body so I could accept more of her love.
As I’ve mentioned before, she is still conditioning me to this day. And based on what I’ve read of those who have been making love to their sex spirits for many years, this gradual increase in pleasure will likely continue for the rest of my life.
In the first few months of our relationship, I had a question that I couldn’t get a satisfying answer to. How many spirits were interacting with me?
About a month into our relationship, I had a lucid dream/OBE where two people entered my room; a man and a woman. They watched me explore the bedroom for awhile and then the man tried to grab my crotch. I shouted at him; told him to get his fucking hands off me. When he tried again, I shouted even louder, demanding they leave my room.
I regret being so rude to them, whether or not Catherine was present for this. Regardless of who was in my room that morning, it raised many questions that I couldn’t find satisfying answers to.
For awhile, I decided there must be two spirits interacting with me; Catherine and a male spirit. At the time, I was willing to go along with it because I’m actually bi-sexual to an extent. The problem was that I didn’t feel I could provide another male with the emotional closeness he would need in a relationship.
Eventually, I reached a point where I stopped trying to over-analyze the situation. I decided to just let it go, stop being so worried, and see what happened.
Now, I believe the encounters I had with male entities was actually Catherine’s way of working out some of my unresolved emotional and sexual issues. As she worked with me, my depression and confusion lessened to only occasional episodes. Despite me not understanding what she was doing, I feel she knew exactly what I needed to become healthy in all areas of my life.
It’s as if Catherine’s sole mission is to ensure I’m the happiest and healthiest man alive… and she has done an amazing job of it.
She’s explained to me that her caring for me is not so different from how the faeries delight in caring for their gardens. There is nothing more pleasing or satisfying to them than thriving planet-life. Likewise, my succubus feels most fulfilled and elated when I experience great pleasure and happiness. This happiness quickly becomes exponential and leads to beautiful sustained orgasmic bliss. I personally believe this is how creation of all good things in nature is accomplished; through bliss and soul-shaking orgasm.
I’m digressing a bit, but it’s interesting to me how shamed and taboo sexual relations have been in our western culture. On one hand, we crave sexual experiences more than anything else and they’re necessary for creation and happiness. But on the other hand, supposedly “good, traditional values” tell us that sexuality is something to be hidden and/or ashamed of; something dirty. It’s a very schizophrenic attitude.
I believe Catherine healed me of my own personal emotional and sexual schizophrenia. And being raised in a strict Christian environment, there was a lot of work that needed to be done in that regard. It wasn’t easy, but she helped me through it and did so with such grace and beauty.
I could go on and on about this: how she has healed me in so many ways. Compared to how I was two years ago, I am so happy and content with my life right now.